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| Fri, 12-19-2003 - 5:29pm |
One thing I want to know.... The man I was involved with still calls me which is probably gonna be okay, cause I feel that we could work thru just being friends. He says things to me like, he still can't let go and doesn't want me to let go, still caring for me so much, loves me in his heart, etc. I care for him very much too but he is a cake-eater. He even admitted it. I have chosen my marriage over a relationship with him cause he and I both have agreed that we are where we need to be. I feel like he is wanting to hold on in hopes of a realtionship in the future. (Years down the road). He has made comments before about that. I know it would take alot to trust him. Do men just know when a woman is right for them and trys hard to keep a connection till maybe a time in life allows them to be together? I think you had mentioned to me one time that with your CW, you knew she was "the one". Is that right??
The way I feel right now, I know I could not have a trusting relationship with him, especially like I have with my H.
I feel I should just let go, and move on, but for some reason for XMM and I, we both admit something keeps drawing us back to one another in some fashion. There is no longer physical contact at all. What is it???
Thanks for your in-put.
Happy Holidays to you and your family.

"Do men just know when a woman is right for them and trys hard to keep a connection till maybe a time in life allows them to be together? I think you had mentioned to me one time that with your CW, you knew she was "the one". Is that right??"
I can't speak for other men. I can only tell you my experiences and feelings about my own life.
With CW I experienced a "knowledge" about myself that in her presence I was safe and I could live my life without fear. Based upon earlier life and marriage experiences, I realized that I needed that type of place in order to end the chaos of my life. I needed the place to heal. I also knew I had tried everything else in my life within my marriage to reach the same place and had failed. For me it came down to choosing life or death for myself. I chose to pursue life and a path that regained my personal integrity. Continuing in my first marriage was a path of lies.
I firmly believe that any relationship that is successful and satisfying has a foundation of truth and respect as non-negotiable ingredients. Both for oneself and the other person.
I will never be able to turn back the clock and undo the many lies I spoke and time I stole to live two lives at the same time. It is my sincere hope that anyone reading my posts learns from my mistakes before compounding their own life with similar mistakes and perpetuating pain in lives of others.
It's not necessary to hide contact with someone with a "hope for the future" if your life is one based upon self-respect and truth.......
jmhoo,
cl-nre
P.S. Thanks for the compliements, TCOM. I'm glad to read you're moving forward in a positive manner in your life. Good luck to you and blessed holidays for you and your family.....