Should I agree to seeing xMM ???
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| Sat, 12-20-2003 - 3:06am |
The holidays must be getting to xMM b/c tonight, he sent an email wishing me happy holidays. Also said he's been thinking about how things ended and concluded it's not fair to me for him to have said it was easier to end this with emails as opposed to seeing me in person to say good-bye. He says, he owes me closure and would like to meet after the holidays!
I'm very torn about deciding if I want (or not) to see him! NO, sparks will definitely NOT fly b/c he'll make certain they don't! But what IRRITATES me to no end is his statement that he does NOT want this final meeting to be a rehashing of our 5 year relationship or for me to verbally bash him for what he put me through!
How does he expect me to get closure if I'm NOT allowed to discuss OUR relationship!!! Does he just expect to meet me for a BUDDY chat of current world events??? Then shake hands and tell him thanks without mentioning how badly he has screwed up my life!!!!
Is he truly THIS DUMB??? Or am I the real dummy for even thinking we could have a civil farewell face to face? I can't do it under HIS circumstances because even right now, I just want to blast him in an email!!! It makes me angry to realize that HE's calling all the shots even to this very END! This whole relationship has been his way and on his terms all along and I'm the idiot that always agreed! I refuse to agree to his terms this time!
If you were me....what would you do?

Just continue on the path you have been on and leave it be.
Good luck....
There is NO reason to see him. He ended things like a coward, yes. I agree. But the important thing to remember is the key word ENDED. If it is over there is no reason to meet. He is being manipulative, this is a way to see you and maybe be together again or what not. DON"T DO IT! I know the temptation is great, but I am going to say it again, there is no reason to see him. Don't give me the "i need closure" crap either. Just DONT DO IT!
Jazzdiva
I know I shouldn't see him and you ladies are right, he's looking for an ego boost! I just realized that refusing to see him, all of a sudden gives ME the control that I've never had and it does feel good!
I've bookmarked your replies so when I get weak, they can be my positive reminders!
THANKS!
Stay strong!
Jazzdiva
"If you were me....what would you do?"
I'd delete the email message, block him from your email accounts and not respond in any manner.
Me and MM have agreed we're just friends now, no more benefits, and when we agreed I forewarned him that when he weakens I want to have the resolve to say no, not just for my benefit, but for his as well, and that if I weaken I want him to do the same. He responded by saying that I'm not hearing him, because he's determined this time (like the rest of the times). In the past it would be "do you want to?" and I'd say "do you?" and he'd say "I asked you first" and the rest is history.
Fast forward 1 week: He asks me to meet privately (previous place) to which I said I no. Yes!!!!! In the past, whenever he wanted me I was there at his beck and call. It feels soooo good to be strong for a change. Each day is a challenge though and I'll have to admit, if we were alone yesterday I'd be singing a different tune. We talked on the phone but when we do meet he always brings his best and mutual friend along now as added insurance and I try to do the same. We're both really trying. Meeting alone is NOT good.
I'd respond via email and tell him thanks but you're really just too busy right now. Be cool and indifferent to him, don't show any anger if you do happen to cross paths. Like your name states, it's YOUR turn to care for yourself.
Hugs
Luvin