Has anyone had to deal with this????

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Has anyone had to deal with this????
7
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 3:37pm
I'm a long time poster on this board and haven't posted in a while because I am pretty much past the devastation of my affair (after almost 4 long months of no contact) and now I am trying to figure out my marriage with a clear head. My dilema is this.....when my affair first started over a year and a half ago I hosted a "girls night" party at my home. Well I confided (after too much wine) in a neighbor friend that I was having an affair. I have a feeling that this tidbit of information as made it's rounds to all of the others in our neighborhood group. We (my H and I ) are invited to a New Year's eve party in which everyone will be in attendance and we RSVP'd that we would be there because I feel horrible for not attending any of the recent social things we've been invited to. How do I deal with the awkwardness of the situation? I am very nervous, as my husband is well liked (they don't have to live with him!!!) and I hate that I look like the "bad wife" and am nervous!!!

Thanks for your help with this,

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 4:12pm

Hello Karry.....and here's my 2 cents.


The past is past. I don't think you need worry about anything at this time. There's an old rule of thumb: a secret between 2 people is no longer a secret. It seems you've discovered this truism. Go the party with your head up. You've nothing to acknowledge to anyone, including the "neighbor friend" you blabbed to the first time. The less said the better.......


It will take a while for the wagging tongues to stop their wagging, however, I think you will find that the less attention you give the past, the sooner the past will go back there.


Have a great time at your party........


cl-nre

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 7:17pm
Karry

I can relate to your feelings...I too felt like it may be just easier to avoid everyone until they found something better to gossip about. Its hard to get over, and sometimes it does pop into my head now and again when we go to functions. But to take yourself out of life and live like a shamed woman in a cage would be giving them the power. I have been known to have a stubbord streak and I think that is what has gotten me through....I am to stubborn to give away my power...my life..to people who truly dont care about me.

Chin up Sister!!! Lv Jb
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 7:28pm
my advice- and excuse the typing-- i burned ny hand cooking- so i am typing with one finger.

pretend its not so. don't drink much and look good- act confident and be affectionate w/ hubby- but not too much so. talk to other women about job/other things. act like its not true and just be confident. people will doubt the romor. good luck- please post after the party.

j
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 7:30pm
Karry-

Me again- I'm wondering if we could message- we might have a lot in common. My affair over and I'm trying to fix my marriage with my well "loved" hubby. Thx.

J
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 7:46pm

I agree with NRE on this one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 9:30am
PS3232,

Feel free to message me anytime. I bet we would have a lot in common and it would be great to talk to you!!!

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Tue, 12-30-2003 - 9:32am
Thank you all for your advice and help!! I am actually looking forward to the party and am going to put myself back into the game of living again!! I'll let you know what happens!! Here's to a happy new year!!!

Love,

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige