Yet another story of ending A
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| Tue, 12-30-2003 - 8:31am |
I have been reading these posts for a while...but never posted myself. I am in the same position as many of you, as my A just ended (or is on its way...)
We have been together a 1 1/2 years, with many lies, broken promises and now a broken heart. Similar to many of you, he was going to leave his W after the holidays...but the holidays were "too hard". I gave him an ultimatium about 3 months ago...after Christmas we were together or it was over. Based on his lack of contact over the past week, I assume it is over. I did get a v/m yesterday saying he was having a rough time...geez, like it is a piece of cake for me!!!
Funny, I almost feel relieved...but am still very sad. I really believed that he would leave. Boy, am I a fool.
Thanks for listening...I just needed to vent...I go from crying to anger to depression and back again. I assume this is a normal reaction when you have your heart ripped in half!

as you've discovered yourself, AFFAIRS ARE SOO PAINFUL.!!......and you deserve so much more than the lies and broken promises that you have been putting up with.....it's good that you gave your MM an ultimatum......now you just need to be strong and follow through with it, and it sounds as if you're prepared to follow through with your ultimatum, because it sounds as if you're not willing to be second in this man's life anymore....
just keep remembering that you deserve someone who will put you FIRST.....and, as you have probably gathered from reading here, these MM never do leave, regardless of what they say......so the sooner you begin to heal your broken heart, the sooner you will be able to move on and live a much healthier life for yourself.......this is the time to put YOURSELF first, because he's certainly not going to do that......it's up to you to take care of yourself......
hang in there, and keep reading and posting.........HUGS........ada
We have had minimal contact over the last few weeks, and I think occational conversation/message was tougher than the NC. I was always checking my email and voice mail, waiting for him to send me a quick note (whenever he could get away from his W)...now, I know it won't happen...ok, I admit, I still check it, but not as frequently as before.
When I am about to break down and call him, I keep thinking that I will be stonger in the end. When I compare our lives, I know that I will find someone who truely respects and loves me, unlike my xMM who has chosen to stay in a bad relationship. I may find happiness again, but he will just keep finding affairs to fill the void in his life...it is really kind of sad...
DB
And he has the nerve to say, "just give me a week so that I can rebuild at home and then things will go back to normal with you and me."
HA!!!!! Is that a joke??? What the heck is that about? So, I asked him what it means that he needs to rebuild at home, and he refused to answer me back - we were text messaging.
I know, I know, this is so stupid. It is totally not working. Even forgetting about the fact that you can't be friends while you are still in love, the fact of the matter is, this man is a total jerk. He is mean and cruel and withholding, cold and calculating and heartless, pigheaded and stubborn and just basically useless to me. I don't know why I still care about someone who could be so awful.
As soon as January hits, and life gets back to normal (i.e. fighting resumes), I'm sure my phone will ring...but I am done with the crap now...I need someone who will give me 100%.
Ya know, I am a fairly smart person...it amazes me that I could let myself get involved in this situation (and stay involved for so long!!!)
DC
You'll be fine. I know that this is hard to see now. You are hurting. Many of us have been there.
Keep posting. Keep reading.
Go "no contact"... this follows the old Jonathan Livingston Seagull thing of "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it is yours. If it doesn't, it never was."
If I had a dollar for every woman on this board who's other man was going to leave his wife, but couldn't bring himself to do it... I'd have a new kayak.
Good luck, hon. You'll make it.
If I had a dollar for everytime he promised to leave, I would be a dreamboat instead of a dreamcanoe!
Thanks for your insite - I have read many of your posts and you have a great amount of wisdom on this subject. I know I can get through this, but I just wish it wasn't so hard and I didn't have any feelings for him...
Good luck to you...