A breakthrough (of sorts)...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2003
A breakthrough (of sorts)...
5
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 1:50pm
Actually, I'm not sure it's so much a breakthrough as it is that I have just reached a point where my heart is catching up to my head. Does that make sense? I don't know what it is, but last night I all of a sudden got this peaceful feeling and now I can think about him and not hurt. Has this happened to anyone else? Actually, most of you here will probably answer no, but maybe some of the "old-timers" out there will say yes. I haven't done anything differently, maybe I'm just tired of feeling really crappy all the time, maybe it's because it's New Year's Eve, maybe I've just reached that point, but I really feel so much better today. I actually think I will make it! I hope each and every one of you get to this point, too. I'm not saying I won't slip, in fact I've been toying with the idea of calling him just to say Happy New Year, maybe because I feel like I could handle a conversation with him so much better than I could have a week ago, or even a day or two ago. But right now, I really feel like I'm about 99% back to my old self! Yippeeeeeee!

Have a safe and happy New Year!

Pony
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 2:14pm
Hooray for you pony!

Keep up the positive thoughts!

Happy New Year to you too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 3:05pm

Pony, it sounds as if you've reached a point of peace within yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 8:19pm
Good for you............MAKE 2004 YOUR YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 12:16pm
This is wonderful! Congratulations! You'll probably have some more weak moments but knowing there will also be strong moments is SO encouraging.

-- but you need lots of time to have the strength to not regress before you could safely contact him. By the time you'd really be safe doing that, you won't want to anymore.

I went through those winsome, just want to catch up moments for months after I ended it. I'm SO happy I never contacted him because I know I would have ended up back in the affair, even though I was from the very first SO much happier once I was out.

Just my opinion but don't contact him. Protect yourself & keep on moving forward - you're doing great!!

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 4:33pm
Congratulations pony! I am an old-timer, and I do know what you're talking about! And yes, it does feel good. I would just caution you about making that call though. Often when you feel you're strong enough to contact him you discover that you're really not, and I've heard ladies here talk about falling back into the affair from just one phone call. Or they call and then feel miserable afterwards, just like they did when they were in the affair. So if I were you I wouldn't make the call.

I've often wondered what it would be like to contact my MM. I just passed six months, so I think I would be strong enough, but I don't even think it's an issue of strength anymore. Why would I even want to contact a man who broke my heart? I don't.

Hang in there, and congrats for getting to the place you've gotten to.