Little things mean alot.
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| Sat, 01-03-2004 - 8:56am |
I told him once that I wanted it all, maily to see what his response would be. He didn't say it would or wouldn't happen, he said I am part of his future if I want to be. Future as in 10 or 15 years down the road when he is finally ready to leave? When all of the kids have moved out? Thinking back over the course of the 2 years or so this has been going on, timing for our meetings, etc has been maily at his convience. and of course that statement about the future is about his convience too. I didn't see that in the beginning. A friend had to bring it to light for me. I was so caught up in him, his sweet words of lovin me, missing me, and needing me. I am finally, with each day seeing real side of this affair thing, and feeling more and more that it is not worth it one bit. He will be the loser in this game we have between us, not me, cause he will have lost me, a person that is loving, caring and giving. And when he does, he will come back, but I won't be there. My heart will heal in time, (Hope it's a short time). I'll move on, and get back to my life as it was before I met him. Just me and my H in our little world, getting on with day to day stuff.
Needed to vent, thanks for listening. I hope I don't end of eating any of the words I just wrote.

Yes, you're heart will heal. I never thought it would happen for me, but I'm very close (and never! thought I'd get there) - and recognizing my moments again, too.
Peace.... -j