I want to end it

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
I want to end it
3
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 3:38pm
I have been cheating with a married man for about 6 months now. We were friends from work and I left that job to return to school. We decided to spend some time together before I left, just to say goodbye and best of luck, but it hasn't ended. I'm also in a relationship but things are not well and haven't been since before my affair began. I'm trying to let go of my other lover because I know it is wrong being that he is married. I know that I'm in love with him but I want to let him go and concentrate on getting my relationship back on track. He's everything I want in my current boyfriend, and it's making it difficult for me to focus on what is morally right. How can I let him go when I care for him so much?


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 4:07pm
How you let him go isn't as important as WHY you need to let him go! He's married and has no business keeping you in his life! Plus, staying in the relationship with MM will destroy not only your relationship w/bf but your life because your self-esteem will get shot.

As to the HOW, many of us here learned the hard way that NO CONTACT is the only and best way to end an A. No if's or but's....just NO CONTACT!

I wish you luck in working on your b/f relationship....or if that relationship doesn't work out, then finding someone that is SINGLE and can devote himself totally to you!

Welcome to our board :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 6:31pm
you can let him go because:

1. he's not everything you want -- he's a liar and a cheater (on his wife & kids if any)

2. he's not proud enough of you and your relationship to make it public

3. you're in one troubled relationship that you probably want out of -- deal with that before you move on to another one

4. there's just no good outcome from an affair. Read the posts on this page & you might see yourself -- you'll surely see there's only one truly happy ending -- getting out now before you help cause a lot of unhappiness -- for yourself, your BF, your MM, his wife, his kids if any.

you deserve better than this -- if you aren't getting it from your BF, leave him & find someone you can be happy with. If you think there's something good there with the BF, work on it & give it a chance.

The affair is an escape -- like an addiction -- it feels intense but mostly out of control and shameful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2003
Mon, 01-05-2004 - 12:32pm
All the reasons foolnomore suggested are right on target. It really will end hurting everyone. And you should really work on things with your BF, if you still care about him.