pitty party
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pitty party
| Mon, 01-05-2004 - 11:16am |
First of all I would like to say that this board is great. I now know that Im not the only one in this rut. I know now that these horrible feelings are somewhat normal.
We have all made bad choices and now we all have to deal with them the best that we can. We all deserve better.
This board has helped me realize that, God knows that I have read enough of your posts to realize that. Im glued to it. When is the time to just let go of the board and live life. By reading the board nonstop like I do its almost like Im just wollering in my own self pitty, but I cannot stop myself. You guys are almost the only support I have. My friends have their own lives and their own problems, I tried talking to a frined of mine and she was too worried about a pety issue of hers to listen to me. (I know it my not have been small to her)
Anyway, am I spending too much time on here, is it doing me more harm than good. Is that possible. I wish I could just pull myself up by my bootstrings and move on......and never look back. The reality is that Im not strong enough. Maybe I need someone to smack me back into reality....I need to move on and do the thing that need to be done, hell I havent even cleaned my house in a week.
I guess what Im asking is if this is normal.......the pitty party. The obsessive reading of the posts.
I want so badly to get over this the healthiest way I can......
What do I do?
We have all made bad choices and now we all have to deal with them the best that we can. We all deserve better.
This board has helped me realize that, God knows that I have read enough of your posts to realize that. Im glued to it. When is the time to just let go of the board and live life. By reading the board nonstop like I do its almost like Im just wollering in my own self pitty, but I cannot stop myself. You guys are almost the only support I have. My friends have their own lives and their own problems, I tried talking to a frined of mine and she was too worried about a pety issue of hers to listen to me. (I know it my not have been small to her)
Anyway, am I spending too much time on here, is it doing me more harm than good. Is that possible. I wish I could just pull myself up by my bootstrings and move on......and never look back. The reality is that Im not strong enough. Maybe I need someone to smack me back into reality....I need to move on and do the thing that need to be done, hell I havent even cleaned my house in a week.
I guess what Im asking is if this is normal.......the pitty party. The obsessive reading of the posts.
I want so badly to get over this the healthiest way I can......
What do I do?

I do have to thank for the existence of this board. It helps to read others' experience, and have some support when you have to vent or questions to ask. Everyone here is so helpful to one another, and we should be grateful for the compassion! Still, at some point, we all need to move on with our life, and let go.
As for what I would do? Since self-worth is the problem, I am guessing that I'll spend more time doing things that I enjoyed, and maybe pick up some hobbies and interests, and "live life," like you said! I think I'll look back once in a while, but I don't want to think of myself as a victim, or the one that was hurt (I think all that involve in an A, including the man, do feel hurt or lost in someway). I would prefer to think that it's another life lesson for all involved, and now, I learned to love myself a little more :)
Good luck to you all!
So give yourself a break, and stop feeling abnormal. Now get off the computer and go clean your house girl!
Jazzdiva
Something about the holidays brought me back -- I guess because it was last Thanksgiving that I started reading the posts here & finding my way to freedom.
I'll be leaving here again soon -- like you guys, I'm so grateful to this board and the help it gave me that I may come back from time to time to pitch in my support and to say -- I'm free, you can be too!
I come back occasionally myself to get a booster shot - and to, hopefully, pass on the hope that it's possible to live through this nightmare we've managed to get ourselves into. I'm living proof, honey - you'll get there. It hurts, but they're growing pains - I promise. -j
As you can see, I have not yet let go of the board, but Im not here quite so often, Im only here abut 20 times a day instead of 50, ha ha.
Im am doing better, tomorrow will be a week since our ending and my blow-up. Yesterday was bad, very bad, I seen him......we fought. I think that is what I needed though. It gave me the closure that I think I needed.
Today has been much better, I realize that I have more important things to worry about......my kids for one, bless their hearts, I havent been the most attentive moma to them lately. I also realized that I need to think about me. I have to have some minor surgery tomorrow, better to go with a positive attitude.
I dont plan on contacting him again. I need to focus on my kids and myself and rebuilding our life.
Again, thank you all for everything.
cc