Ending Before it Starts
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| Mon, 01-05-2004 - 4:31pm |
Which takes us to 2003 and the renewal of our friendship. We still have not taken things further, but this time I was more open to the idea of a relationship with him. He says that I am the one person he can not forget about and I am in desperate need of some attention. I know that, so I choose to see him. Our A has been very short-lived, I can not be the on the receiving end of all this - always unsure of whether I can call or not, being jealous of his time out with friends (not at the point yet of being jealous of his wife), etc. I don't feel like myself when I am around him, I guess I am afraid to invest myself too heavily into this because I know my heart will be broken in the end. I thought we could hang out once in a while and I could protect myself from caring too much, but I know now that is impossible. I still want to be friends with him though. Do you think that is impossible now? I am not sure this is going to make sense, but when people talk about a MM who is cheating on his wife, the feedback is not always positive. He always comes across as a creep who can not be faithful, or is just using the OW. The OW seems to be portrayed as desperate or a home wrecker. I did not want to deal with any of these labels. I want to think of us as friends who do like each other and made a mistake by sharing that with each other. I don't think he is a terrible guy, just one that has made some poor choices. And if I can help it, I don't want to be a catalyst in making those poor decisions.
Thanks for listening. It was not my intention to offend anyone here, I am not judging, just sharing some thoughts I have held inside for a very long time. Thanks for allowing me to do that and I look forward to hearing everyone's thoughts.

Read around. No one is feeling judged, and very few here judge, either.
I read your post, because it reminded me a little of my situation a few months ago.
Looking for quick advice?
-Yes, break it off.
-Yes, you'll be hurt in the end if you don't
-Follow your heart. Your heart sounds hesistant. Trust that defense mechanism.
-Friends... possibly possible, but watch the closeness. You would have to control the emotional sharing. May be easier to just cut off all together. Most likely, friendship is impossible.
No contact is the way to go, deenice.
I think we're all learning to love ourselves more by ending/staying out of affairs.
Good luck -- it's hard whenever it ends & you deserve to grieve your loss.
See, this is the sensible advice I give to people on this board, and I've been here for months. Please follow it for my sake, because I'm not very good at following my own advice :-)