MM around every corner

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
MM around every corner
2
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 2:07pm
This is just getting ridiculous. I vowed NC this morning, but I had to send an e-mail about something that xMM had to be included on but I was putting it off because I didn't want him to call in response to the e-mail. So the time I usually call him came and went and I didn't call. I was so proud of myself! Then I contacted my friend and suggested we go to lunch early. So, two minutes before I walked out the door, I sent the e-mail. I sat here and watched as xMM opened the e-mail (I can look up what time it was opened), then walked out the door. I meet my friend close to his cubicle because that's where we always meet and from his cubicle he can hear us talking, I'm sure. Not a minute later, here he comes, carrying something and headed down the hall. Now remember, this was a guy who just a minute earlier was sitting at his desk reading an e-mail from me but the next second he's got all this stuff all prepared to go down the hall... It seemed really fishy. He of course stops to talk to us and was kinda weird the whole time. He is getting that insecure sort of demeanor he gets when he thinks I'm starting to slip away. Normally that's the point I'd give in, but I'm not going to this time. I'm going to be strong. I'm going to come here and post every five minutes if I have to!!! It's just frustrating because all week I keep saying I'm not going to see him, I'm going to avoid him, but he's literally around every single corner and he just looks SO DARN GOOD. It's like looking at a big piece of chocolate cake you know you can never, ever have. Understand that I normally very, very rarely see him unless I make an effort. Our schedules are just different and the odds I'll run into him as I walk down the hall are pretty slim. It's a timing thing, but this week he's just lurking everywhere.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 2:13pm
This is so funny. I have been through this with my X-OM. Your X-MM is afraid of losing you, so he is making every effort to be around you. I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 2:54pm
I'm not so sure... I overthink things, as you know, so bear with me. I think it bothers him more that he's losing his little fan. He deliberately insulted himself in front of us so I'd build him back up but I refused to buy in. I think he's going to keep scrambling like this until he realizes he's losing ground, then he's REALLY going to kick it into high-gear. But it's all about his ego. He likes knowing I think about him, fantasize about him, can't get enough of him. When he does come back after me, that's where I want to keep it. Somewhere in the middle, where we're friends, we flirt, but we BOTH make an effort to see each other. Why can't we keep that balance? Why does it have to be that he starts trying to pull me back down with him and I fight and fight and then the instant I give in, he gets scared and there he goes again??? Can't I just keep it to where I'm in CONTROL??? To where we're both aware we want each other but we don't actually discuss it? You can say I should tell him this, but I DID, right before Xmas and he said, and I quote, "Okay. I'm all over it." (Meaning he'll do it...he'll make an effort. So today, no effort.)

NC truly is the only way but I love my job and he's been here for freakin' forever so I know he's not leaving. So the avoidance game begins anew...