Not Sure How to Live Without Him
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Not Sure How to Live Without Him
| Fri, 01-09-2004 - 4:04am |
New to this board. I have tried to end our affair before but failed because he was my only friend. He will not leave his W and I am afraid to leave my H. So there you have it. W found out he called me while he was on business in El Paso. He has done several things lately to cause her to know we are not over and sometimes I think he makes these slips on purpose to force her to move and file. Then later he regrets it and lies to keep her in the marriage? So many crazy questions. Help! Where do I start?

Where do you start? You start by taking care of yourself.
I hope things work out for you,
Lillsilly
Not sure if I have any great advice for you, but you were kind enough to respond to my last post, so I wanted to give it a try. I can kind of relate when you say your OM is your only friend. I did consider XMM my best friend. I have many acquaintances, am friendly with most of my neighbors, etc. but it is hard for me to open up and let people really get to know me. XMM and I talked about everything. I opened up to him about painful secrets from my past and private details of my life today. To have that friendship taken away was extremely painful. This board has been a huge help to me. To have a place to go to "talk" about the A has been wonderful for me. To know there are many others in similar situations has helped tremendously. I have also made an effort to re-connect with some old (female!) friends. I called an old friend from college the other night who I hadn't talked to in ages. I have been E-mailing several other old girlfriends from high school and college. When I feel bored or lonely, I call my mom or go across the street and talk to my neighbor. Not the same kind of intimacy, of course, but I think it always helps to make that human connection.
I have been an at-home mom for many years and am also afraid to leave my H, although we haven't been happy in quite some time. XMM is unemployed and is in no postition to go anywhere. Even if he had a job....although he has said he's in a loveless marriage....I don't think he would leave her anyway. From what I have read on this board, it seems that men rarely leave their wives for the other woman.
Do you think your marriage is worth saving?? That is what I am trying to figure out myself. In the end, we are going to have to choose -- our A or our marriage. I'm learning you can't have it all, at least not for very long. I wish you the best of luck. Keep us posted.....
mpjcmom