I thought it got easier with time

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I thought it got easier with time
3
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 4:48pm
One month today that I ended it with XMM. I'm not crying, but there is not a day that doesn't go by that I don't think of him. Every morning, and every evening I check my cell to see if he has called. Why am I dissappointed when he hasn't called? The thought of him moving on, kills me. My life is so much better now, with out all the drama that the A brought. The idea of him with another woman, just kills me. Why would I even let myself think about something like that? I read the post "Thought of the Day" from yesterday.....my time is valuable, and he is not worth it......Strength displays integrity which ultimately can spawn desire and respect. It is

not a game....

I have got to let him know that I demand respect. For 17 years he has taken my love for granted. It is his loss, because I know in my heart that no one has ever loved him as much as I did, it was him that turned my love in to what it is today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 5:07pm
OMG! 17 years! Think of all the holidays you've had to spend without him (not that I know your exact circumstances). My A lasted only 2 years, but I hated squeezing in lunches on birthdays, Valentines Days, etc., because he spent the evenings with his family.

I know this sounds trite, but you deserve to be with someone who openly adores you rather than in a relationship that must be hidden. We all deserve that!

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 5:26pm
I have a friend that doesn't know about the A, but she does know that I just recently ended a relationship. She knew of the difficulty I was having in this relationship. She always told me that I deserved to be loved and cherished, just as I loved and cherished. I know I deserve more, but it is so difficult to get him out of my system. I have been with this man for 17 years. I did truly love him, heart and soul. Now, all I feel is hurt, pain, most of all anger. I hope it does get better with time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 5:40pm
Goodness gracious, honey -- 17 years will take more than a month to get over, I fear!

You should be proud of yourself; I am sure that it takes A LOT of strength to walk away after 17 years. Be patient, and treat yourself to something wonderful -- a prize for getting through the first month, perhaps. You deserve it!! :)