Please help me stop
Find a Conversation
Please help me stop
| Sun, 04-11-2004 - 12:23pm |
I thought My A was ended until we made plans for Thurday. We went out Thursday and got totally drunk. I cant even remember how I got home. I am praying I said things to him that would want to make him not see me anymore. Truth is.. I cant remember. Spoke to him by phone the next day. He did not say anything. I probably will not see him until work on Wednesday. My husband is thinking something is going on but I deny it. The guilt is killing me. My stomach aches and my head pounds. I know in my head this has to end. I have children and so does he. We are both Married. NC is not an option. We work sometimes together (not everyday). I know if he calls me I will still talk to him but I wont call him. HOW DO I STOP? HOW DO I END IT? HOW DID I GET IN THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Please post again on Monday with the appointment time you've set up for YOURSELF with a counselor. The answers to your last questions are going to be found within yourself and your decision making process. Start working with a therapist.
Now.
While you still have an opportunity to continue your marriage.
Shop
Stop makeing plans to see this guy you are NOT friends, no unrequired getting together AND NO DRINKING WITH HIM.
Tell him bluntly it is over right now period, tell him your husband knows something is going on and is closeing in on the two of you and HIS as well as yours marriage is a risk.
Get into IC to help deal with the root cause of the affair.
Create the pros and cons list to see what your getting from this and what it is costing you or will cost you if left unchecked.
DECIDE TODAY THAT THIS IS OVER PERIOD untell you do nothing will change for the better.
F
What to tell your husband? Tell him the truth: You've got some issues with yourself that you need to address with a professional in order to learn the tools to keep your love and marriage fresh and satisfying and still be able to give back to him as much as he gives to you. Tell him you love him and your life with him and realize that over the years changes have crept in that you're not entirely comfortable with and you don't want to get off track from your goal of life long commitment.
I agree with you; don't tell hubby about your affair. Accept that it happened for reasons to be explored in counseling and elave the past in the past. Learn from your affair and move on, giving yourself back to hubby and children. As I have said many times before, they (spouse) may forgive, however they NEVER forget and for a large percentage of spouses they just can't let the past go.
Good luck. and get going to your counselor. Your solutions await you
cl-nre
You can do it and the people at this board can help, there's lots of first hand experence here.
I agree with the CL lots of people go to IC now a days, you must be under a lot of stress from all this, there is a good reason in it self.
The friendship that may have exsited before the affair is not the same one as may SEEM to exsit now, you have something he wants now, in a real friendship it is not like that.
Unless you a real bad mother your not going to lose your kids not even for haveing a affair, but rather then thinking about loseing your life start to think about recovering it and makeing it better something that can never happen with XMM in it.
Here is PREDICTION for you , starting from today you life starts to change for the better ONE step at a time.
YOU ARE STRONGER THEN YOU THINK
Free