Starting to feel like I dreamed it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Starting to feel like I dreamed it!
3
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 9:43am
Has anyone out there felt this way? I've had NC for about 2 months now, things are going great at home, I'm thoroughly enjoying all the time that's been freed up as the result of ending the A, feeling great about the level of honesty in my life (no more lying, sneaking, cheating, etc). The other day I drove my OMM's house (he lives on a main road and I drove past without thinking) and it suddenly seemed so odd to me that I had ever been in that house or made love with the man who lives there. His car was parked in front and it seemed unimaginable that I had ever been in that car. The whole thing seems like it never happened, or happened in another lifetime. Anyone had this feeling? Its so difficult to believe that someone who was such a huge part of my life for 2 years (we saw each other pretty much everyday) could just exit so quickly! I ended the A after a great deal of soul searching, and I've had some struggles about it and missing him, but just the past 2 weeks I've begun to feel so strongly that I did the right thing. Whatever, it's a great feeling not to be obsessing over him or scheming or conniving or any of the other less than honest things I did for the last 2+ years. For all of you who are struggling, I wish I could send you some of this feeling. It's wonderful to put it all behind you!

mo 7-18-10

Avatar for crystal_clr
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 10:04am
Yes!! I have totally had that feeling. And I find it so scary, because I think how could we have planned to leave our spouses and have this life together, yet only a few months after we break up I can't even picture myself in his arms anymore. It just makes me look at the whole thing and wonder how it ever even happened.

YET, I also have to say I have been at this point before - a few times, and thought I'd NEVER go back to him. There's NOTHING he could say or do that would result in me going back to him - yet I have. The few times I've been to this point before, from out of the blue he's done something really shocking (after months of NC) and ofcourse I'll fire off an email telling him off and the conversation starts again and somehow out of it all we end up together. I guess what I'm trying to tell you, is don't let your guard down. I know it can feel so much easier when you're at this point, but still stay true to your NC if he does all of a sudden come around. Many X's do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 1:08pm
Thanks for the warning, Crystal. I have never been in this place before, except that there were brief periods (like days, maybe?) during my separation from my H that I couldn't imagine life with him again, but never felt like I dreamed the whole thing. I was so glad for your feedback, because I can see how I could let my guard down. I can't imagine OMM would contact me after 2 months has passed, but I guess that's because I'm assuming that he's feeling the same way I am. He's probably not. Thanks so much for your feedback!

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 1:23pm
Oh, I have definitely felt that way. It's a good feeling to know that you're starting to let go! :)

I have been wondering lately, "How will I know when I'm over this for good?" When I can go an entire day without thinking of OM? When I stop visiting this board? Any thoughts on this??