let go
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| Thu, 04-15-2004 - 6:34am |
I HAVE HAD AFEW HORRIBLE DAYS, ABOUT 6 DAYS . I FELL RELIEF THAT HE FINALLY LET GO BECAUSE I REALIZE I WAS NEVER GOING TO LEAVE MY H. I THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR A GOOD LONG TIME. . THE OM WAS RIGHT WHEN HE ONCE TOLD ME, I ONCE AGAIN WANTED TO BREAK IT OFF THAT I REALLY CAN'T LOVE HIM IF I KEEP DOING THIS. I BELIEVE I DID LOVE BUT AT WHAT EXPENCE. WHEN FINALLY HE STATED TO LET GO I THINK IS WHEN I GOT SCARED OF NOT HAVING HIM . SELFISH I KNOW.BUT HE ALWAYS CALLED AND BEG TO SEE ME I KNOW IT WAS THE SEX HE CRAVED BUT ALSO THAT LITTLE HOPE I STOP GIVING SINCE ABOUT JANUARY. IVE COME TO MY SENCES AND FEEL FREE I WOULD NEVER DO THIS AGAIN MY HUSBAND IS NOT AS BAD AS I PICTURE HIM TO BE. I WAS JUST ON THE WRONG PATH FOR A WHILE. I WILL ALWAYS CHERISH MY TIME WITH OM . I FEEL BAD THAT HE IS SO MAD AND ANGRY AT ME.I THINK IS MORE HIS PRIDE THEN ANY THING BUT SINCE HE DOESNT PICK UP MY CALLS HE PROBABLY IS GIVING PAYBACK FOR ALL THE TIMES I WOULD NOT CALL. IM GLAD DON'T GET ME WRONG. I LOOK BACK AND REALIZE KNOW HOW HE REALLY LOVED ME AND HOPE FOR A FUTURE AND SLOWLY I DRIFTED FROM HIM. EVERYTHIME I BROKE IT OFF WHICH WAS ABOUT 5 OR6 HE WAS NOT READY TO LET GO NEITHER I .BUT I FEEL GOOD ABOUT THIS. I STILL THINK AND CRAVE HIM AND WHEN I SEE HIM I HURT BUT THE IDEA OF GIVING 100 % TO H AND CHILDREN IS WORTH IT.
LETTING GO
