Today...

Avatar for crystal_clr
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Today...
3
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 9:34am
Today is such a weird day for me. We are at 7 weeks NC. We've been broken up longer than that, but have had total NC other than one or two words when I run into him and his family for 7 weeks. And I have totally avoided him.

I've made it to this point a few times before, but only to this point and maybe a day or two - I'm pretty sure I've never been at a full 8 weeks. It feels so odd. It feels over. Its sad - its like I'm moving closer and closer to letting go (not there yet though) and it makes me feel lost.

Meanwhile things have improved a lot with my husband. Its amazing how the feelings you had for H do return once you walk away from an affair. Its not all better yet, but its moving in that direction.

Anyway, I guess thats all I really have to say. For those of you just starting out - it does get better. Stick with it. Be brave. Your life will change - for the better. Open your eyes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: crystal_clr
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 10:09am


Good for you for making it this far. I totally agree with what you said about your feelings for your H. As I attempt to pull away from this 5 month affair my friends occasionally ask "how are things between you and your H?" and I find my response to be "Once I stopped carrying on the way I was.... he is not bad at all." I hate to admit it but it sort of feels like I made all of it up - like his negative behaviors that I caused such a fuss over were simply in my own imagination. If that makes sense.

With the OM out of my mind... I find myself observing my husband, he glances over at me and smiles... poor innocent guy has no idea.

elf

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
In reply to: crystal_clr
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 1:44pm
Hi Crystal,

Good for you!! 7 weeks of nc is a huge accomplishment. I'm glad things are improving with your h. It gives me hope that maybe it can be like that for me as well. You are right though, it does get better. Good for you!! Keep posting updates okay?

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
In reply to: crystal_clr
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 4:44pm
Hey Crystal! Congrats on the 7 weeks, that's great. I'm somewhere around there myself, which is the longest OMM and I have gone without contact since we met. Yes, yes, yes, I also feel the loss now. If you saw my post above, I've felt it especially over the last few days. I'm staying strong, but its so darned hard. The last time my little guy was hospitalized I really relied on OMM for comfort. This time, I'm turning to my DH instead.

My marriage is also getting better. Its got some way to go, but its so much better than I thought it would ever be again, which is a real gift. I'm not sure that I would have hung around and agreed to rebuild if it had been my DH that was so wrapped up in a relationship with another woman! He did have a girlfriend, but I think she was more of a traditional A without the emotional trappings.

Anyway, Crystal, I just wanted to say that I'm in the same boat and I know its not easy. Love and hugs, Maureen

mo 7-18-10