Feeling a Little Down
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Feeling a Little Down
| Mon, 04-26-2004 - 2:41pm |
Hi everyone. Well, I hope you all had good weekends. Mine was great and I didn't think of MM hardly at all.
But now I'm back at work, going into week 3 of NC from him and feeling kind of mixed up about that. I feel a little sad that I haven't heard from him in so long but also I KNOW that I should try and end it anyways. H wants to work on R with me.
The one thing that I don't know if I can stand though, is the thought that I may never have a good sex life again without MM.
H is not really motivated in that dept., we haven't even done it since Xmas.
That is one of the things he said we'd work on, but to tell the truth it was never frequent/regular ever since we 1st got M.
Does anyone else ever feel like this too? That giving up the sex is going to be really hard and you're afraid you may regret giving it up?
Dusty
But now I'm back at work, going into week 3 of NC from him and feeling kind of mixed up about that. I feel a little sad that I haven't heard from him in so long but also I KNOW that I should try and end it anyways. H wants to work on R with me.
The one thing that I don't know if I can stand though, is the thought that I may never have a good sex life again without MM.
H is not really motivated in that dept., we haven't even done it since Xmas.
That is one of the things he said we'd work on, but to tell the truth it was never frequent/regular ever since we 1st got M.
Does anyone else ever feel like this too? That giving up the sex is going to be really hard and you're afraid you may regret giving it up?
Dusty

He is the first one to say "Hey.... tell me what you're missing or what you're wanting and I'll oblige pronto." hehehe. I guess my A differs from many due to the fact that it turned very emotional very quickly. Deep emotional issues, loving... not necessarily sexual - although the kissing certainly kept me going back.
I hope it's not out of line or inappropriate for this board but heck maybe surprise your hubby with a rented porn tape. WooHoo. It doesn't have to be completely nasty and repulsive (and I'm not condoning sex addicts or whatever) - but they can spice things up. Just a very odd suggestion.
elf
But, we had an incredibly powerful sexual connection and understanding about one another. I know more about xMM and he me, than i have ever known about my H (or my H has ever known about me). So, do i miss sex now that the A is over. Well, i never seemed to have it either way (with H or with xMM). And all of that is very sad because i am an incredibly sexual person and enjoy sex very much.
I do know, that after H and i married 13 years ago, i cried for a month--because i knew then, what i know now: that we would never have an intimate or passionate life together and i was mourning that. You see, my problem isn't new at all. This has been going on with me for over a decade and a half. Xmm was the only man, though, that i ever even considered an A with.
Clarice
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/listsf.asp?webtag=iv-rbsextips&nav=start
Can't hurt, might help. ;-)
Good luck. I think a healthy sex life is a very important thing to strive for in a marriage.
Maybe this will bring you a little bit of comfort as far as the XMM goes: My XMM and I did a heck of a lot of sex-talking, too. We lived far apart and didn't get together all that frequently. And when we did get together -- well, I'd be less than honest if I didn't admit that the real thing did not quite live up to all the talk, at least in my opinion... It might have been better to keep it all at the fantasy level.