confused and in pain-HELP!!
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confused and in pain-HELP!!
| Sat, 07-24-2004 - 11:54am |
Hi,
The OM and I decided to end the A when we were caught in person by my DH (who I was separated from at the time). My DH refuses to let me go. Let me say that the feelings for the OM are still there but i want to so badly work on my marriage and be a good wife and mom to our two little boys. However I can't stop thinking about the OM- especially because i think his feelings for me are still there too. OM & I got along sooo well, like best friends, we had so much FUN (just talking and laughing) together and that is why the A started.
The OM and I decided to end the A when we were caught in person by my DH (who I was separated from at the time). My DH refuses to let me go. Let me say that the feelings for the OM are still there but i want to so badly work on my marriage and be a good wife and mom to our two little boys. However I can't stop thinking about the OM- especially because i think his feelings for me are still there too. OM & I got along sooo well, like best friends, we had so much FUN (just talking and laughing) together and that is why the A started.
I have always been a moral person, been married almost 9 yrs, then after the birth my 2nd baby got PPD and been on Zoloft. Counselor says I got depressed because my DH was not supportive enough and that is why I fell for OM.
I am soooo confused: a) should I stay married even though the love feelings are not there anymore for DH, just doing it for the kids' sake and because I don't want to break his heart?
b)should I get a D and move on with OM because I am in MAJOR emotional pain and can't get over him?

First welcome ,second sorry to see you here if you get my meaning.
I would just like to take the opportunity to point out some things to you that you may not be aware of or to confused to look at.
1)OVER 95 percent off all relationships that start out as affairs fail in less then 1 year after they come out in to the open, once all the secracy ,is done away with the thrills and intensity and the HIGH feelings that come from them vanish and your often left with a relationship that has no real foundation to stand on, that LOVE you though you had was something completely different, affairs are about two people USING each other to satisfy SELF, it is not about the other person it is almost always about "ME" and what I need.
2)If you and OM were to get together and face all the stuff that real married people do, BILLS, TAXS, Mortgage, problems with the kids will it be any different then with your husband, is OM really up to the job, out side of being FUN does he really have the right stuff to be a good husband and father to YOU CHILDREN, they will never be his.
3)When in a Affair it is a MAJOR MISTAKE to trust your emotions as you often do not really understand what is triggering them.
4)ADVICE, Go TOTAL NO CONTACT WITH OM for at least 6 months well you and your husband do INDIVIDUAL COUNCELING and MARRIAGE COUNCELING, if your both prepared to recieve as well as give understanding you could be surprised how well things could turn out, your feelings for your husband could flood back or return as a trickle but they can come back.
Best of luck to you.
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