Help me PLEASE!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Help me PLEASE!!!
10
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 9:19am
I have posted here before, and I tried to end the A many times. He keeps coming back. I really need to get out. He's taking me down in a spiral and I cannot stop. Please help!!! I know he's never going to leave. EVER!!! I don't know how I got here, I believed his lies. I don't want to answer the phone, but I do becuase I think that this may be the call where he says he left. I don't want to go on this way, because my friends are telling me he has changed me. I want out. But I cannot take myself out of this. I'm just not strong enough.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 2:10pm
jlt, I wish I knew the magic words to give you the strength to do this. You can!!! You know in your heart that this is wrong for you!!! If things work out that he does end up leaving because he wants to be with you -- NOTHING will stop him from finding you. But the chances of that happening are slim, and you must not put your life on hold any longer!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 2:15pm
Hello 242

We are here to help you in anyway we can.

You have to start believing in YOU, you can do it, want to do, you will do it, time to start building your self-esteem back up.

You are better then this, it is time to end the USING AND ABUSING, you know he is a liar and has no pitty for anyone or he would stop hurting people to get his jollies.

If you can unplug your phone for a few hours, turn your cell off, go out for a walk do anything but to avoid taking his bait.

YOU ARE STRONG

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 2:49pm
Change your phone number, block his e-mails, get a new cell phone, ANYTHING to get this man out of your life once and forever. The cycle of the A must be broken, and only you have the power to do that.

Distract yourself by going out, visiting friends, posting here. Do whatever you have to do to occupy yourself so that you are not sitting at home waiting for his call.

You CAN do this, just keep telling yourself that you CAN end this!

We are here for you!

((hugs))

Circe

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 4:06pm
I have changed my cell, moved, etc. NOTHING WORKS!!! He won't let go, and he won't leave. The cops have been called, but he hasn't threatened my life. I MOVED!!! He won't leave me alone. He changed his number and I let go, but then he came to my house. I don't know what to do. If I keep some contact, it stays on a lower burner. If I tell him I don't want anything to do with him, he raises a ruckus. I tried all this. I'm not kidding. HELP!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 4:43pm
Can you say stalker, scary guy.

Go to court and get a restrining order ASAP, when he violates that have him arrested, he will be given a pyhic test.

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 4:54pm
jlt - free has a good idea, look into what you have to do to get a restraining order. What this man is doing is STALKING. It is against the law, and you do have rights. I would look into this immediately, starting with your local police department.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 5:26pm
Check out this site for state-by-state stalking laws. If what he is doing falls within the parameters of what your state considers "stalking", then he is most definitely breaking the law, and the authorities MUST do something about it:

http://www.ncvc.org/src/main.aspx?dbID=DB_State-byState_Statutes117


Here is another link to a page on the same site that is a printable Stalking Incident and Behavior log. It may help you to print it out and record any and all contacts that you have with this man. At the bottom of the page there also links to other sites that may be of some help to you:

http://www.ncvc.org/src/main.aspx?dbID=DB_Incident_and_Behavior_log160

Please keep us posted and let us know how you are doing.

((hugs))

Circe


Edited 7/27/2004 5:33 pm ET ET by icirce21

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 9:39am
I thought it was stalking, too. And I called the police, but he's not threatening me in any way. They cannot do anything. It's hard to do when the man you love but cannot be with won't let it go. My friends are very supportive of me, and I feel safe. I am beginning to understand the what's and why's of why he won't leave her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 9:40am
Not that I want him to leave, but I am beginning to understand him, psychologically.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 10:26am
Well then I am truly confused...

From the tone of your post, and from what you described, this was an unwanted invasion of your privacy, and you were desperately trying to *escape* from this man. From what you just wrote, the two of you are "in love" and you "understand" him.

I just don't understand how you can have feelings for someone who is obviously harrassing (and yes - STALKING) you to the point where you have had to change phone numbers and move.