need some advice.....
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need some advice.....
| Tue, 08-03-2004 - 3:12pm |
I am female. I am currently in a relationship with a man I love dearly. We were together for 4 yrs, broke up for a year and have been back together for 1 1/2 yrs. During our time apart I had sexual encounters with a very good female friend of mine (who is married) We are still very good friends depite what we did. I dont regret it and either does she. We still get together on a regualr basis, but we dont talk aobut what we have done. almost like it didnt happen. Play it Safe! - with her old man around. Anyways, my problem being. My b/f was outta town working for a few days and during his time away (which she knew of) she sent me a long instant message, detailing to me how much she loves me and wants to persue a relatioship with me, that her son will be 18 in a couple months and she wants to leave her husband for me, wants me to join her and leave my man, and how is she would have split w/her man while I was away from mine - we would have been together ....... I was sooooooo blown outta the water I am having problems explaining in words how I feel. I AM IN LOVE with my man. We have been thru some hard times, currently we are in the process of purchasing a house together and I have no intentions of persuing a relationship with this woman (besides a friendship)What we did was a one time deal, it meant nothing more, to me! (although I knew she always wanted to by her body language) I guess I just need some advice on how to let her know what I feel without hurting her and our friendship..... i am a loss for words. Someone please help me out here, I am not good at saying the right things at the right time that would not offend her or piss her off and have no friendship. I almost feel that if I say something - our friendship will fly out the window and that may be the only way to go about 'ending' this........ help me! please! I need to respond to her today! So she doesnt think I am blowing her off or ignoring her!

You know the lady best and therefore have a good idea of how she is likely to take the let-down. I guess you could try putting yourself in her position as best you can and work out how you'd want the information presented.
If it were me, well, I'm all for firm but gentle honesty - just ensure you allow no room for false hope.
I hope it works out, sweetie.
Wishing you strength & peace,
Posie
I agree leave no wiggle room for her to hold on to false hope.
Free