What Am I to You?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
What Am I to You?
11
Sun, 08-08-2004 - 4:06pm
Posted this on the All Sides Board, but perhaps that is not the best place to do so:


Or “What Was I to You?”



Any former affair participants care to expound on what their significant other (affair partner) meant to them? I've safely tucked her away in a corner of my mind and it is a shame that is where she will have to remain.

Honest thoughts please.

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Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Sun, 08-08-2004 - 4:53pm
I've read a couple of posts mentioning this All Sides board, though haven't been able to locate it myself (I'm generally on the UK boards). I'd be grateful if someone could provide a link or even point me in the right direction.

My former affair partner occupies remarkably little of my mind these days. I've accepted that the person I fell in love with was little more than a personna projected by him that I readily bought into for a period of just over 3yrs. In reality, therefore, I fell in love with someone who does not and has never actually existed.

I am forever grateful to him for being what amounts to a sperm donor for my beautiful 21mos old daughter (a child he suggested we have together, raise together as a family and then chose to have no contact with for reasons best known to himself). I am forever grateful that the trauma of my EMA prompted me to seek counselling from which I've grown immensely as a person and managed to make the quantum leap to being a real grown-up. I am forever grateful that I am now able to truly appreciate all that I really do have and am content that exMICR remains very much an Ex.

Interesting question, beleagueredman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Sun, 08-08-2004 - 5:19pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Sun, 08-08-2004 - 7:26pm
Hi Beleaguered,

You (my ex-OM) are my most special friend. We share a secret that no one else in my life knows or even suspects. I know you miss me terribly and wish things had gone a different way. I hope your heart opens up again soon and you find a new, wonderful, available woman to share your life. I will do my best to hide my jealousy and wish you well. You will always have a place in my heart.

Pug

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Sun, 08-08-2004 - 8:33pm
You are the source of much guilt and regret. You are also a memory of excitement and exhiliration. You are the hardest thing I've ever had to work to get over in my life. But you are finally my PAST, and that is where you belong.
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 1:56am
You are the ache in my heart. You are something that doesn't belong to me and never will. You are sadness, escape, guilt, wasted time, regret, compulsion. You are warmth, safety, happiness, strength, and my very best friend.

You are still, clearly, very much a part of me. Someday (soon I hope) you won't be and you will be just a memory.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 8:20am
You WERE one of the best things that ever happened to me. You made me feel beautiful and appreciated. You taught me how to care and love for someone.

You still consume alot of my thoughts. Too much of my time is spent wondering how you are. I don't understand why I even care, but I do. Thanks to you I feel like I am worthless now. You showed me how bad one person can hurt another.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2004
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 1:36pm
You were my escape, a tender companion during a confusing time, a partner in a journey to self-discovery. You were my friend, my mentor, my kindred spirit. You showed me passion that I didn't know existed, and opened my mind to new ideas and experiences. You were gentle, patient, kind and always honest. You never lied to me, and I love that you are never dishonest. I do not regret you and I still love you. I always will love you, and I know on occasion I will ache to be in your arms again. But I am ready to move on now to the next chapter. Thank you for all you gave me, for starting our relationship in such a special way and for the way we ended it with mutual care, concern and respect.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 1:45pm
You were my inspiration. You were my rainbow after the rain. You were my pleasure and pain, if that makes sense. You made me realize I was capable of unconditional love. I loved (still do) with all your faults. You turned my sensible and sane world upside down. You were an answer to a silly romantic girl's prayer from up above. You made me stop and think. You were (and are) my best friend.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 8:35pm

You are the man who ripped my heart into a zillion tiny pieces.

Susie  

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 6:38am
You were my quirky sidekick, my escape, my everything at one point. You never wanted to let me go yet you never wanted to leave your W. You were selfish and hurtful when I never was to you. You were jealous and insecure and always put me down as a result of that. The pain has always been there which is why I wonder why I continued to take you back, and the pain is so unbearable now that I don't know if I will have the strength to turn you away for good.

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