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| Wed, 08-18-2004 - 11:41am |
Now I'm at a point where I've evaluated what the MM has been saying and comparing it to what he is actually doing and I'm really scared that I let myself believe that he truly cared for me. Now, instead of daily phonecalls, I get one after a week. He calls me a "friend" has told me that he loves me and I'm in his heart (the only one who has managed that in over 10 years) but yet has this amazing marriage and to my utter shame, a new baby. I really thought that he'd include me in his life - I was just kidding myself, right? He's asked me before to promise him that I'll always be in his life... do they all say that? I'm losing perspective... is all that I've felt and cherished just what happens during the course of an affair? I'm at the point that I just want to say "please don't call me anymore this is just a joke...", but I'm really afraid to find out that it would be easy for him to just drop me. (OMG do I sound pathetic!!!). I guess I just want to see some effort for him to be with me again.
Does anyone have any comforting words? Any input would be appreciated!

Save yourself a lot of grief, self-doubt, and degradation. Get out now. Yes, it will seem like he's ok with just dropping you. Yes, it will seem like he's content to just stay in his "amazing" marriage and fails to see what you really offered--how wonderful you would have been for him. And yes, that will hurt you. A lot. And the anguish will be acute and will feel insufferable.
But you cannot be whole and happy with him in your life ON HIS TERMS. You will always be neglected, never be prioritized. He will continue to disappoint you.
Get out; bless him and let him go.
We're here for you. You can grieve here with us. We know you are stronger than he is; you are a great and wonderful person who deserves someone who can return her love and affection in full measure. You do not deserve to be left waiting.
Grace
Thank you for your kind (real) and supportive words. I look at most of the posts and take the words of the members to heart. I will continue to think about what you wrote. It seems that you know whereof you write.
In friends I meet here, I hope to nourish new strength, and give in return.
Thanks.