A about killed me

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
A about killed me
5
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 2:25pm
Just for those of you who really want to end an affair here is a quick history of my life, I am 33 2 kids, just moved into a great new place, my job is great. BUT this A has mentally physically emotionally beeb wearing me out and i have been trying to get out, well let me tell you where I was Friday about 7:00pm, I was in an ambulance getting rushed with an Oxygen bag on my face "ALONE" to where I ended up being in the Critical Care Unit of the Cardiac section at the hospital till last night. I am home but I still have an IV in my arm the nurse has to come every day and check on me and feed me through the IV medication. DO you think MM saw me or sent me flowers once?? He caled me one time and my mom answered and he cried how busy he was and the one timehe had time I told him the worng hospital, hello when he called the said the hospital name. I saw my teenage son cry from worry, I have not seen my daughter since last week because I cant care for her. Then he calls today and has the nerve to ask why I have not called him. I kindly said I have to go and hung up. I wish I could block his number but he blocks it and I have too many doctors and etc calling I cant risk missing some calls. I am DONE. THIS affair has took every ounce of life from me. THen what little was left after all this he is still trying to suck out. PLEASE these men are not worth our health!!!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 4:16pm
Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way. No doubt about it, the emotional investment, the running around, the conniving, etc,. that it takes to make these As go on is just sooooooo demanding. I agree wholeheartedly - they're not worth it!!!!!

I'm so sorry to hear that your A actually wound you up in CCU. That's brutal, and even more brutal that it took this to show you how unavailable the MM really is. What a creep!! And good for you telling him so!!

Since I ended my A six months ago, I've actually had some time to myself, time with my kids, time to relax! Something I never had when I was busy running around, lying, cheating, sneaking, to spend a few hours with him every day or so. I have MYSELF back now, and wouldn't trade it for anything.

Please take good care of yourself and hang on to your realization that he isn't worth it! Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 9:21am
My god that sounds awful did you actually have a heart attack or what happened not thats its any of my buss..Ive been in a 2 year realation ship and im a MM were not together right now and im not doing very well..I really think its affected my health also...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 1:12pm
Fooled..

I have been in a similar situation with my XMM. I had both my kidneys removed, then put on dialysis and then went through a kidney transplant..all within two months! During this time how much contact did he actually give to me? Maybe once a week..twice if I was lucky.

About a year later my mother passed away, I called to tell him. Didnt hear from him for over a week and I had to call him! You would have thought the first experiences would have given me a clue..NOPE! You would have thought my Mother's death would have given me a clue..NOPE!

XMM ended our affair in May. I was first devastated...trying to regroup and come back strong. I wanted to be his friend..I needed him.

Last month another low spot in my life. I asked him to call me so that we could talk. I wanted his advice..Did he call? Did he respond to my IM's? To my email? No he did not call. No response to IM. He responded to my email a few days later..by then I did not want to talk to him...

I FINALLY got the clue. After 2.5 years. After time and time again of not hearing from him when I NEEDED it..It hit me. Thank you God. Thank you XMM for ending our affair. Thank you XMM for showing me what a true self centered person you are...Thank you for this board.

Sorry I got off on a ramble..

I just wanted to give you my thoughts and my prayers. I wish you peace and strength. I wish I had been as strong as you and as wise as you!!

All my prayers..HUGSSSS!!!

Smiles

MB

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Sat, 08-21-2004 - 7:48am
I am so sorry you are experiencing this trauma and hope as time passes you will become stronger and you said it right these men aren't worth our health. Take care of yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Sat, 08-21-2004 - 12:26pm
Unfortunately, being in an affair is in total contradiction to the "In sickness and in health" clause of marriage vows. They only want you when you are happy, healthy, sexy and available "on THEIR terms", not yours. Being ill shreads the fantasy. They can get that at home from their wives and children. YOU are their fantasy lover, and burdening these men with sickness, ineptness, and problems will cause them to run in the other direction.

Think about it. They can't be there for you most of the time when you are WELL. Thinking they will step up and be supportive when you aren't, is opening yourself up for tons of pain. Having an affair is one of the lonliness relationships women can have. The cons FAR outweigh the pros.

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