My heart is broken

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2004
My heart is broken
2
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 9:42pm
I have posted here a few times but mostly read all the posts. My EMA was over 6 years, it ended a few months ago. We had a great relationship and I thought he truly loved me. We ended the affair because he moved 2000 miles away. Well I found out he is already involved with another woman. How do these men move on so quickly? Did they ever really love us? He was my soul mate for 6 years! My heart is broken. I guess I thought I was more to him. I know its over but it hurts so bad that he can replace me so quickly. He has never talked badly to me but tonight his words broke my heart. It like he could care less about me. I wish I could just wake up and forget like he did. What hurts more is to think he was never really the man I thought he was. I am so hurt and this is the only place I know where I could get some of these feelings out. As I sit here crying I am hoping some of you can read this and understand the pain I feel right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2004
In reply to: lexy6
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 10:29pm
Lexy,

I'm new to posting on this board, but I too have read many posts before. Know this, that your broken heart has company. Try not to focus too much on what he is feeling, or thinking or what his reasons may be for getting into another relationship so quickly. Easy to say, hard to do. It's impossible to know what another person is thinking, and even if you could ask them, you still wouldn't know for sure. Six years is a long time to spend with someone. I don't really know how to mend a broken heart but posting your feelings and knowing that others are there who feel the same thing, does seem to help.

Good luck, and I hope that you feel better soon.

ggirl

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
In reply to: lexy6
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 11:21pm
Lexy:

I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain. You are certainly in one of the right places to deal with this. I hope you are or will consider: therapy, joining a church or other group (12-step groups are great), spending lots of time with friends & family, reading about ending & dealing with affairs (you'll see yourself and your man alot in those books and articles), and mainly LIVING YOUR LIFE.

This will take time to get over. I was in an A for 3.5 years with an MM. I left him because I wanted a whole life and a whole relationship. I came to believe that the affair killed what was beautiful between us, due to the lies, compromises, sneaking around, etc. I wanted a man who could and would be part of my whole life & not just in little stolen parts. Stolen applies because the whole thing, to me, was so dishonest and unworthy of the love I originally felt for this man.

I ended it over 18 mos. ago & met a wonderful single man very soon after. It has not been easy for us and I do think about my MM every day, if only for a moment. I imposed NC with MM after several emotional conversations about breaking up and many failed attempts during our A to end it. NC worked best for me, as it has for lots of people who are recovering from an A.

I consider affairs to be an addiction. The safest thing you can do for you is to cut off contact with this man and start living your own life. You deserve so much more than a relationship with a "soul mate," who ends your "soul connection" by moving half way across the country from you, who replaces you so easily.

You are a special person who is worthy of REAL love, deep love, loyal love that you can trust. Do NOT settle for less. Go for it!!