need to stay strong?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
need to stay strong?
4
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 7:25pm
Hi,im new here and need some advice/support.Ive been married for 3 years(with my hubby for 9),about 2 years ago i met this guy online and a realtionship started. I didnt feel bad or anything cause i was sure I was leaving my husband.Time went on and i started to care for this guy,he treats me like gold,he is the exact oppsite of my husband(which i think is why i was attracted to him). Ive met this man quite a few times and had inimate realtions with him,but now here i am now,wanting to end it. In fact i did ,as of 2 days ago. I want to be with my husband and concernate on my huband and my children. I know in my heart this man isnt for me,but tonight i find myself wanting him online so i can speak with him,maybe out of bordem i dunno.we've talked everyday since ive ended things,and its abit werid,i want to walk away,cut all ties but i get bored and lonely and there he is again. hes having a hard time dealing with it so i feel bad at the thought of just never speaking again. i need to stay strong and not let thsi man maniulape(sp*) me into going back to him. any thoughts on what route i should take would be apperacited.


me

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 9:24pm
Rose

I would suggest that the first thing you do is to remove him from your buddy list if you IM and if you intend to continue to do IM with other people that you change your screen name and were you hang out.

block are close e-mail accounts he knows about.

Go total NO CONTACT starting today, there is no way to get past this if you keep talking to him it just will not work.

If you like the on line life I think you can find boards that are meant for women only or you could consider volunteer groups in your community church or social orgs.

Get busy and stay busy, when you get the urge to go on line, phone or meet get up and go out do something anything but make contact.

Read many posts here and post often yourself, both will hept you.

If this man manipulates you then he is not someone you want to have anything to do with when you need to manipulate someone that tells you that your not an emotionally healthy person, your better off with out such a person in your life.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Thu, 09-02-2004 - 11:09am
no offense but it sounds to me like you are the one that is weak - you say you get bored and there is he. And yet you blame him for manipulating you... I don't think it's right to just place the blame on someone else if you aren't strong enough to resist. And I'm sure not gonna bad mouth someone I know nothing about... you might say he's manipulating you - but if what you want is to focus on your H and family then what he doesn't would have NO control over you. Rethink your actions and words... and get serious and honest with yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Thu, 09-02-2004 - 2:01pm
Idesma, how can i not take offense to that?? i can here to look for support not low blows.i understand youre entitled to your opinion but im also entitled to mine, you dont know me and to call me weak is uncalled for. I am trying the best i can to deal the only way i can and if you dont have any suggestions to offer me ,only put downs than save your breathe. i hope that someone in your time of need doesnt kick you when u r down.

me

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Thu, 09-02-2004 - 4:51pm
Ladies PLAY NICE, AND REMEMBER THIS IS A SUPPORT BOARD, so lets do are best for each other OKAY.

Rose please be patient with us and DON'T go away.

Free