ok i sent him an email....

Avatar for mama_mia123
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
ok i sent him an email....
2
Sun, 09-05-2004 - 4:32pm
Hi everyone and thank you so much to those who replied to me, it helped...

What you all wrote was right, that keeping on this way won't make it any easier... so I wrote to him, saying I think it's time to go back to NC and that it's been so nice emailing with him but it's not working for me.

I logged off, then went to cry.

It's true, it isn't working for me- to wonder if he thinks about me, to wonder if he is just keeping me around until he is bored or looking for fun; to wonder when he'll want to see me again, or if he'll just stop writing one day- to wonder if he cares about me, and if so how much.

I kept holding on waiting for something more but he won't commit (i know it's understandable but) to calling it an affair, or even saying he misses me.

so it's true, it's just too much emotional energy.

but now of course i'm waiting to see if he'll write back, "why?" i mean, we've been getting along really well- is he gonna try to keep me? is he gonna ask why i'm pulling back? or is he gonna just do nothing.

it's so painful. i love to have him hold me in his arms, and kiss my lips- i feel so secure in his arms, and so wanted...

well thanks and i'll let you all know.

mama mia

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Sun, 09-05-2004 - 5:47pm
Great first step Mama...but I know your feelings will continue to tug at you. Have a strategy for those moments when you want to give in (which we all have for a long time).

And think of it as taking your life back, taking back your energy from someone who is incapable of holding your life with the care it deserves. Place your attention on how you can give to others and get your needs met in trustworthy places.

Good luck and hugs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2004
Sun, 09-05-2004 - 6:35pm
Congrats, mama, on making that hard first step. It's a hard one, and it won't be easy, but you WILL get through it. Like soreinside said, start planning coping stretegies now.