EVERYONE read!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
EVERYONE read!
7
Sun, 09-05-2004 - 9:25pm
please! :p LOL

I'm just wondering what determines which topics you reply to? I notice a few people "Free" "True" and a couple others that try to reply pretty regularly... are most of the other posters just people coming here to post about their problems? Are there only a couple people that are concerned with helping others!?

Just curious because as I look around I notice most of the post have very few replies and a couple posts have numerous replies!

Seems like alot of us reaching out for advice and very few trying to give it!?!?!

:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2004
In reply to: ldesma
Sun, 09-05-2004 - 9:33pm
I know for me, it's a matter of what the post is about. I'm new to this whole thing, this was my first A. So frankly, unless it's about something I'm familiar with, I don't feel I have the right to give advice. Or sometimes even know enough to give an opinion. In those cases, I feel it's best to leave to it to someone with more knowledge and/or experience.

But you do have a point...I could at least go in and offer sympathy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: ldesma
Sun, 09-05-2004 - 11:25pm
Hi,

I am new here. I guess I have alot of advice because I made a disaster of my life from having affairs and each time I end up with the OM and keep going from worse to worse. I left my DF for my DH who then became my exH when I met MM who became BF - but is still married (SM - separated man?). Everyone here has already gotten involved but I would like to try and stop people before they completley wreck their lives.

Ivy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
In reply to: ldesma
Sun, 09-05-2004 - 11:48pm
GOOD LUCK
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: ldesma
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 3:11am
Hello, Ivy! Your
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: ldesma
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 3:22am

It's different for everyone, depending on lots of things. For some, it depends on where they are in their own affair. Often, those who are out of it and have been for a while can offer more advice while others still in the midst of their affairs feel they can only offer support. Still others do a lot of reading and may never feel comfortable enough to post. It all depends on where the individual is on their own path and what they are comfortable with.


I don't post a lot simply because I have been here so long. I find myself repeating the same things over and over again. I would rather have some of the other members share their feelings, stories, and

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
In reply to: ldesma
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 10:48am
Idesma,

If you go back to your first thread on here, "Different Situation", you will see that you had MANY responses, and from people that are only on here sporadically. Everyone one of them were filled with excellent advice and similar situations. Most of the people on here will return when they are have a setback, or are feeling vulnerable and need reinforcement to stay strong, OR just want to share their successful journey out of that limbo land nightmare.

On the "Affair Support" board, these women are searching for answers on a daily basis...and therefore keep coming back. It will be an ongoing process for them until they have reached their limit of pain and confusion. Then they will hop over to this board for strength and support.

In my situation, I didn't even know about IVillage and these boards until I was desperate for answers as to why I EVER had an affair, so I started out at the Endings board first. Mostly reading....and discovering just how many women were suffering as I was. This board saw me through my decision to "END" a 4.5 year affair. I didn't post much at first, just read everyday anything I could get my hands on.

Please continue to post on here whenever you feel the need, or just have a topic you want to toss around because for all of us women who have escaped the darkness, once in a while the clouds set in, and we need a boost of sunshine.

~True~

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2004
In reply to: ldesma
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 9:49am
I only reply if I can really 'relate' or if I think I have something helpful to say. If I don't think I can help out, I stay quiet. Some situations are just too difficult for me to grasp.