todays the day....
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| Sat, 09-11-2004 - 8:21am |
we have been in nc for 2 weeks now. he stopped sending me im's. i sent him 2
im's and never got a response.
next time i will see him is for his wedding in november.
i am dying inside. i dont know how to get through this day without asking
him why he stopped sending im's. i know he wants to move on...its just soo
hard. i wish we didnt have to stop communicating. it hurts so bad.
i know after november that will be it. i will only see him occassionally
at parties but not frequent. i know then i will be able to put it all
behind me. but till then i cant move on.
i stand on the hope that he will write to me one more time before his big
day but that i know is wishful thinkning.
we did have a beautiful thing i wish didnt have to die.
i know we will always be social friends but not friends like before.
i read the posts and wonder if he ever had feelings for me. looking back now
he said a couple of things that lead me to believe he did, but that may be
what i want to hear.
i write because i dont have anyone to talk to about this. as i sit here
i cry in soo much pain. i want someone to take it away.....

I feel your pain, and I have been out of the muck for 4 months. So you see, just hearing it from others still going through this nightmare brings back that lump in the throat.
PLEASE, realize that only YOU can take the pain away. You have to hold your head up as high as you can and not show this man any weakness today. It is your SON'S big day, and this is where your pride should be.
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him why he stopped sending im's. i know he wants to move on>>>>
You just answered your own question. He wants to move on. I am sorry that doesn't include you, but let's be honest here, didn't you already know that in your heart? YOU need to let this all go with dignity and self-respect. You made a mistake. We ALL do that. It's how we fix those mistakes that really matters.
Now, wash away those tears, get all dolled up for the big day, and show the world that you are one terrific lady with the greatest kid on earth. You are worth so much more than just an empty meaningless email.....
My best to you,
~True~
True said it all perfectly- listen to her! :)
Enjoy the day with your son- you will want to look back on today and remember his great party and the happiness it brought your family. You won't want it to be clouded by obsessing over OM and feeling weak. Like you said, he wants to move on. That isn't going to change. But you have control over the way you handle it. Be confident, happy, gracious, and focus your attention on the birthday boy.
It doesn't seem like it now, but you will get past this. You WILL heal! Just keep remembering that. Look at the big picture and try not to obsess over small things.
Lots of Love and thoughts coming your way!
Lily