I'm FINALLY finished!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2004
I'm FINALLY finished!
Sat, 12-11-2004 - 4:02am
I am finally finished with him!
He has another girlfriend. I truly couldn't be at a better place. It's what my (single)OM needs. I think it's what I need him to have...
We were old BF/GF from HS....1st love sort of thing. We had a short lived A for about 3 mos and he broke it off on Thanksgiving...over the phone. We had both always struggled with me being married, but since our feelings for each other were so strong we just kept on.
We've talked a handful of times in the past week. We decided to be "friends". But it still didn't feel right...like he was still holding back his heart or something weird. So tonight when I called him, I had decided to end even our friendship. Well, he got a call in the middle of our conversation and when he called me back an HOUR later. I simply said...non-threatening like, "so, what's her name?"
He'd been set up on a blind date with her. In fact I remember the night....I thought it was odd that he was out so late on a Friday...it was only a few weeks ago.
So all that to say. I have the closure I need. He'd always talked about missing the stuff of a "normal" relationship....ie going out and family stuff and all. Hindsight is 20/20. It's not ME. I couldn't give him what he really wanted, my singleness and a "real" life relationship.
I can't shout loud enough.....YEA!!!
It's not me!!! It wasn't me...all along. He still is in love with me, but I'm a wife and a mother....not to him, that's the only thing that he hates. It's not that I'm not thin enough, or funny enough, or too serious or too whatever!!!!
I can't tell you guys how crazy I've made myself!!!
What a freakin' relief! And how crazy that it gives me so much relief.
The other part of the relief is that I can move on knowing there's no chance of getting back together. Not that he's going to marry this girl or anything. But I've been somehow hoping that we could've figured out a way to be together.
Well now I can finally move on. Feeling confident. Leaving with what I had before this whole mess started.
Finally!
~Baby