want to scream/yell at DH :-(

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
want to scream/yell at DH :-(
3
Sat, 12-11-2004 - 9:36pm

I am sitting here wanting to scream and yell at DH...take the kids and freaking LEAVE...do SOMETHING....

I'm doing this for DH. PERIOD. OK maybe my immortal soul as well but that's beside the point. Point is I'm trying to prove to DH how much I do love him and he's still sitting there like a damn bump on a log.

I swear I can not take much longer of this. I won't do it. I won't give up part of my damn soul just to be f*ing ignored for the rest of my life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sat, 12-11-2004 - 9:47pm

"OK maybe my immortal soul as well but that's beside the point."

If you believe you have one how can it be beside the point, like eternity in hell is eternal right.

Anyhow have you tried a bucket of ice water, a real attention getter, I am only half kidding I have been tempted to put the idiot box out in the snow just to see if he would notice were he is.

Sorry just us loons around tonight.

Free

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Sat, 12-11-2004 - 10:00pm

...So scream/yell at him, RZK...

I don't recall offhand whether you've come clean about your affair, but either way sometimes a good argument can clear the tension so that a real discussion can begin.

Rebuilding is, as I am discovering, a long process. It's full of peaks & troughs. A good week will follow a bad one, a great week will follow a crappy one and vice versa.

DH & I have no major discrepancies, just a whole bunch of little niggly ones that add up sometimes and the vast majority of them pre-date my affair.

Breaking the niggly bits down keeps them manageable, discussing them *when* they are niggling deals prevents the specific niggly bit from festering or swelling up into something far bigger than it really is. And anyway, just how the bloomin' heck is DH suppose to *know* it irritates me when he does x, y or z unless I actually *mention* it to him!?

There really aren't any quick fixes, RZK. The quick fix you & I tried (our affairs) only added to whatever problems already existed, so now we get to resolve those as well as the pre-existing problems. MC has helped us a great deal.

As far as doing this for DH, well, much of our motivation is dependent upon how long we are out of our affair and how much we are *really* out of your affair, if you follow me. Your head can be out of Lala-land while your heart still hangs on to those hope & dreams Leviguy spoke so eloquently about, regardless of how foolish our head tells us those hopes & dreams may be. As best as I can figure out, those hopes & dreams only ever die once we let them.

Point your feet in the right direction, one foot after another, and your heart has no choice but to catch up with feet, RZK.

It's a long-haul, poppet, but you aren't alone on the rebuilding path.

Wishing you strength & peace,
Posie

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
Sun, 12-12-2004 - 11:43am

Thanks for listening. Aunt Flo finally showed up, which explains some of my crankiness. NOTHING is EVER right in my life for the couple days before she shows up.

But yes, DH knows everything about my AP, and he knows every single one of my concerns regarding our marriage. And still he sits.