Propositioned by another in the "circle"

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Propositioned by another in the "circle"
2
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 3:56pm

So the rumer mill runs rampid and needs no fuel.

I am so pissed.

Saturday night my H was having a poker game with 3 guys from the circle of friends ( no, xMM was not invited). One of the wives was going to stop by for drinks later on around 11pm....but otherwise I was the only lady around.

So I get home from Costco....around 8pm....all the guys helped bring in the stuff, my H built a fire in the fireplace- and we start to play poker...we all had a great time - lots of beer and the loser of each hand had to do a shot of Crowne Royal.
My H was very rummy around 10:30 - so he said he was going to rest on the couch for a bit - so we all kept playing.
by 11:30pm.........2 of the H's were DRUNK. so they fell asleep on the other couch and one went into the guest room. My H was pasted out in the living room.
I went to have a cigarette in the living room where the fire was - (Lets just call the friend K)....I told K that he could also smoke by the fireplace because it was too cold outside. So we are sitting in front of the fire - 2 guys are snoring away on the couches........and K says:
"so, you know that its really dangerous for me to be tipsy like this and almost alone with you". I said what are you talking about????
He said "well, to me you always have been the most coveted wife of the group......I think you are beautiful, I really want to kiss you".

I jumped up and said "what the @&!^$%^*)&^ is this!!"
And then he said that the rumor was that xMM and I had an affair - I Lied and said thats not true....
and then K said "well I am happy to hear that because I want to be the only other man you touch".

I have had so much pain,missing, loss, sadness, clarity, and finally my one phone call that I needed from xMM - but I still have so much pent up sorrow and anger.........
I SLAPPED HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE!!!
He looked so shocked.
I asked him to please never speak to me again - avoid eachtother until I get my divorce....then he said he was soooooooooo sorry....the he was attracted to me and that he had too much to drink......and that he did not believe that someone like me would every want to be involved with xMM. He said that there was rumors but that it was coming from xMM wife...and she has been intoxicated or under the influence so much that no one is really listining to it because my H said that it was not true.

I said that he had to call his W and go home - he could not stay overnight. I went to the bathroom and cried and cried. Does this mean that everyone does know about the A - and even though xMM and I have lied and my H does not believe....does that mean the one thing that xMM said was bull????
"I dont want my friends to know that I was capable of having an A...it would ruin my life long friendship with them.......my W is threatining to tell everyone"
Looks like she already did.
so, maybe now - he was lying after all.
They all know
And now at least one of the H's thinks I am a harlott.

I hate life right now.
I really thought that after talking with xMM last Monday - I had closure...to a point.
I thought gee - he is misserable, he is working on the divorce, he did and does care and thinks of me....but we cant be together because we cant get caught....we have to deal with our lives and who knows what the future holds.....
Was that all crap?
And what do I do if this happens again with another of the circles H's????????
I have been sick since -

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 7:41pm

Anna

I the future use a large peace of firewood not your hand you could break a nail.

Don't accept any disrespect from any of these men, if they bring it up suggest that they discuss it with there lovely wife because you may have to if they ever approach you again.

DO NOT PUT UP WITH ANY B/S, just because you made one bad decision does not intitle anyone to treat you with disrespect, especialy based on a rumor.

Walk talk and act like a lady and demand to be treated like one.

Free

PS: In the future you may want to let them hold there drunken bashs at someone elses house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 12-14-2004 - 7:32pm

I think Free's answer pretty much sums up all of my own reactions and comments to what you've posted....


Hang in there, kep your head up and keep looking/moving forward...


cl-nre