Tips on being an ice queen?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Tips on being an ice queen?
2
Sat, 12-18-2004 - 10:47am
I need to learn how to be a lot less softy and a lot more frosty with xOM. We work together and have to be polite... any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Sat, 12-18-2004 - 12:38pm

Hiya NG

True will have far more tips on the whole working with exAP scenario but so far as I've been able to make out it's all about setting boundaries and maintaining them. Keep work time about work and ONLY EVER about work and you're golden.

Some choose to have a discussion about where the boundaries lie, what is and is not acceptable, and some simply prefer to begin their version of NC without explanation. There is no right method so far as I can make out. It's only ever as successful as YOU make it.

My only real advice would be to ensure that ALL interaction remain strictly & utterly professional. Since "How are you?" isn't about work, it is not acceptable either in the asking or being asked. So don't ask it. If you are asked, you may simply respond something to the effect of: "Busy with the abc project" and then turn & walk away.

If the ex affair partner STILL doesn't get it and presses further with requests for information about you or your private life, feel free to say that topic is not open for discussion, you are and will always be too busy to discuss anything outside of work-related matters and you really must get on with your WORK now.

Reacquaint yourself with your company's policy on inter-staff relationships and on sexual harassment, too. Remember that if you've used company network for sending each other non-word related emails, your affair is likely known to at least the network admin staff and probably more besides since juicy gossip just like that is usually the best tip a poorly paid network admin worker often receives.

You will be exactly as successful at sticking to work-related matters as you wish to be, NG.

Wishing you strenth & peace,
Posie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sat, 12-18-2004 - 2:12pm

Gal

""My only real advice would be to ensure that ALL interaction remain strictly & utterly professional. Since "How are you?" isn't about work, it is not acceptable either in the asking or being asked. So don't ask it. If you are asked, you may simply respond something to the effect of: "Busy with the abc project" and then turn & walk away.""

Bingo

Keep your own questions limited to work related YES/NO type answer questions were possible.
Deal through third paries were convenient.

As for Church, don't worry so much what other people think, live up to your own high standards and let See how fortunate a man your HUSBAND is to have you.

Free