Feeling pretty good....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Feeling pretty good....
2
Mon, 12-20-2004 - 6:15pm

Hi everyone.

We ended it last Thursday, friendly, no hard feelings... He had major guilt where his young daughter is concerned. He said he really needed to deal with what he's feeling and get a handle on it. He said to keep in touch, etc. We weren't mad at each other when we hung up with each other. I'm sad its over because I really like him.

But I look at this as a chance to get my relationship with my H back on track. I am focusing on him / us. We had a really great weekend together and I feel very happy and hopeful that we can get back to the way things were between us.

The thing is, I really cared about xMM and miss our conversations (we talked almost everyday). I can't just turn that on and off. I haven't spoken to him since Thursday and I know it wouldn't help with my efforts to improve things with my H. Right now, I don't even have the guts to call xMM anyway but I do think about him from time to time. I wonder how he's doing with working through his guilt, how things are at home and with work. I even wonder if he thinks about me at all...

How do you deal with that? How do you get yourself to stop thinking about him and then to forget him altogether? I don't know if I can. I enjoyed being with him and truly like him as a person / friend. He helped me discover things about myself and I'm grateful for that. I don't look back on my time with him as a bad thing. Sure, I have guilt where my H is concerned but I've come to terms with that. And I'm moving on... And I feel hopeful that we can "fix" our relationship in time. Any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2004
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 12:27am
I'm new here and still trying to figure out HOW to end my relationship. We did break things off - for about a week - last year and what you talk about missing is what I missed most too. My OM has become my best friend. He's the one I want to talk to about the day to day things in my life and the one I'm used to turning to. I'm not sure how you suddenly stop doing that. Hopefully someone will have some suggestions for you. Just stay strong!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 12:38am

I can tell you this...it's hard to go back to the way it was. I thought that I could do it...but today...my xmm was texting me about work stuff as if I was a "friend"...and it REALLY upset me because damnit...I'm more than a friend. I was the BEST friend/future wife. Yeah, right...now I'm the xOW (ME- the OTHER woman- I still can't believe it.)

Bitterness may be affecting my advice...sorry