how to end the obsession?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
how to end the obsession?
1
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 3:43pm

I fell for a married man back in March of this year. I too am married. We didn't have an affair -- he was already having one -- but I have been unable to turn off my desire for him. He feels badly about the fact that he seems to be a hurtful presence in my life, which causes him to sometimes avoid talking to me or responding to my emails. I know that I should not contact him, and have made a number of attempts to do that, but that always seems to hurt me even more. I want to let go. Yet it was such a pretty dream. How can I do it without crying all the time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2004
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 4:54pm
I'm not following you grrrrl. You say it was "such a pretty dream" yet it sounds like all that your relationship with him, sexual or not, has done is cause you pain. Do Not, I repeat DO NOT have an affair with this man. Read what you posted again and again and again until you see the light at the end of the tunnel. He is causing you emotional pain now, the pain of anything further with this man will only be worse. Try to figure out what it is you are really desiring in your life. An affair is not going to fill that void. Trust me on that one. Any void I had before my A has gotten so much larger than it was before. You need to focus on things in your life that will make you happy and there is no reason to have contact with someone that makes you feel bad about yourself. We as women tend to let men kick us around but would never take the same kind of abuse from other women. WHAT THE HELL? Think about it, wipe off your tears and gather up some strength to tell him to kiss your as* and surround yourself with people that make you feel good.
Good luck to you!
hugs and kisses
~nuttmeg