Am I wrong?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
Am I wrong?
5
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 9:59am
C


Edited 2/9/2005 9:12 am ET ET by littlesoul1
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2004
In reply to: littlesoul1
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 11:03am
littlesoul,
what a tough place to be in. I think you will really have to want to end your A for you to really make things work with your H. You won't really be able to progress on making your marriage work if you are still thinking about the possibility of a relationship with your OM no matter how much therapy you go to. Maybe a break from your OM will help clear your head and let you gain insight on what you really want to do for you. I think you are actually handling this all RIGHT and seem like a strong woman. Good luck to you on whatever you choose.
~Meg
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
In reply to: littlesoul1
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 1:55pm

Lost

I have more questions then answers, What killed OM first 2 marriages and what makes you think it would be any different with you.

Were either of the last two wifes married when they go involved with him, question being does he have a thing for going after married woman, do you know.

In my opinion your not able to think clearly if your thinking about ending your marriage after seeing this guy a few times over 5 weeks.

IF HE REALLY CARED ABOUT YOU HE WILL INFORCE NO CONTACT UNTIL YOU HAVE DEALT WITH YOUR MARRIAGE, and there would be no time limits that is a pressure tactic he is using for his own benefit and so is the he will not see anyone else, it guilts you.

Get into MC and work at it you married your husband for a reason, OM was divorced TWICE for reasons, and the reallity is the divorce rate on third marriages is near 100 percent.

JMHO

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
In reply to: littlesoul1
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 2:55pm
Free,
C


Edited 2/9/2005 9:12 am ET ET by littlesoul1
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
In reply to: littlesoul1
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 3:56pm
The relationship you describe is similer to one that I have with someone I was friends with in H/S and dated off and on in college. When you've known someone that long, the regular rules don't apply. This is one of those lifetime friendships that will endure regardless of what choices you make, either now or in the future. So don't sweat it. What you need to decide is whether you want to make things work with hubby, with or without the OM in the picture. Give your marriage its full attention a day at a time. Don't kick yourself if you slip once or twice. Just keep making your marriage the focus of your attention. Eventually it will become clear to you whether or not it is time to get divorced. Don't complicate that by thinking oh, you have to marry this other person if you divorce your hubby. That's just not so. He will always be a part of your life, either as a friend, a lover, or a spouse. ok?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
In reply to: littlesoul1
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 4:13pm
grrrl65 -
C


Edited 2/9/2005 9:12 am ET ET by littlesoul1