Still dont get it ? what did he mean?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2003
Still dont get it ? what did he mean?
5
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 7:23pm

I have noticed every day that goes by the pain seems less and less surmountable.
I feel my whole outlook on life has changed and I vowed to myself to be the Wife and Mother that my family deseves. Totally undivided attention is something that I have lacked the last 4 years. My H would say I look like I am a million miles away! And yes I was emotionally.

But the one hurdle that I cant seem to jump over is one of the last conversations MM and I had, actually it was a text msg. I asked him, at least I thought it was a simple question, The question was this, I just wanted to know when did your feelings change for me and why couldnt you just tell me you felt like that? Well I figured he would call me with an explanation, but all I got back from him was a text msg, saying I have no answers!
What the Hell??? He could of at least lied and said May or something but NOOOO I get some lame I have no answers!
Does anyone have any ideas as to what that could mean??? Any understanding in this would help me put this behind me. What the heck does I have No Answers mean? After 4 years I was just looking for some closure but that statement did not help with closure

Thanks for letting me vent Onthegochick

Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 8:37pm
He probably hasn't given it much thought, hasn't analyzed the details of the relationship like you have so he doesn't have answers. Maybe he's afraid of telling you the wrong thing. Or maybe, just maybe he is just copping out because he doesn't want "to go into it". Stop making yourself crazy about his stupid a$$ reply to your question and move on.

Jazzdiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 11:05pm

OTGC

It could be that he truly does not know, he may have kept the relationship going long after it was over out of habit like many married people do, maybe one day he just woke up to the realization that there was nothing there for him anymore, who knows ???

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 11:48pm

I'm learning quickly that we don't always get to hear what we want. Recently, I wanted my xmm to respond to a question a certain way...and when he didn't...I got upset. He doesn't know what to say to me...just like I don't know what to say to him. He finally said..."why don't you just imagine that I said the perfect thing"
It actually made me laugh at how silly my question was. Neither of us have any business asking each other any questions at this point. What's the point? There really is no closure except what you make for yourself. Some days I realize this...and other days I don't...I'm workin' on it.

good luck...Crissy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Fri, 12-24-2004 - 12:36am
I agree, you must find your own closure. Don't expect him to give it to you. He won't.
He probably answered with he has no answers because he hasn't given it much thought. He could be like my MM and just ignore problems and drama and go on with his life like nothing is wrong because he doesn't want to think about it.
Be content with your decision, that it was the right thing to do, and give yourself closure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2004
Fri, 12-24-2004 - 2:19am
He probably didnt want to get into talk of the relationship again. So to avoid that he just gave a short answer, which was to you no answer. Try not to contact him agian it will leave you feeling pretty upset if he does not respond in the way that you would have wanted him to
Take care
Trish