Thank All of You
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Thank All of You
| Mon, 12-27-2004 - 3:53pm |
I had some rough moments over the long weekend -- especially after he e-mailed me (which I did not reply to). This board is the only thing that got me through those rough moments. When I felt 'weak' or sorry for myself, I'd come here and read your posts and know that (1) I didn't want to go back FOR ANY REASON and (2) you are a great, great goup of women. Thank you!

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And a few men too....glad to hear you found requisite support here with us....
cl-nre
I hope you come out soon....it seems you've forgotten your cl- here is MALE.
cl-nre
P.S. I can definitely understand being unhappy with the man who has hurt you directly. That tar brush you painted ALL men just didn't feel comfortable to me....
because I applied for the position,,,,(edited to add the following info):
AFTER I had first posted in this thread answering some rather rude people who declared "once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater" as a way of slamming everyone who has ever participated in an affair. That was back in the fall of 2002. My posts are archived under "noregretsever".
Seems that after my explanation of my own changed circumstances and feelings about not having the urge any longer to participate in affairs after 17 years' time, some of the people on the board welcomed a male input and commentary to what they (the women) were experiencing while dealing with men with issues. For some reason it seems there are vry few men actually interested in direct discourse with women about ending an affair. Quite a few men are adept at smooth talking their way into relationships without even considering the long term effects of their trysts.
Women think differently than men. Or at least most do most of the time. I myself rather enjoy the nuances that exist between the methods used by both sexes to formulate answers.
I was asked to apply for the cl post. I thought about it, accepted the invitation
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Bella,
Your responses have been cracking me up. You've been asking everything I've wanted to but was too chicken <<>> to ask. I applied for CL and never heard a thing :(
Please see my edited post about applying for the position.
If this doesn't answer your questions fully, please send me an email. The point of this board is support, NOT debate.
cl-nre
Yes, it does stick in my craw ALOT reading how men treat the women in their lives. Especially the "players" feeding on kind hearted women with no intention of anything except physical gratification.
As for myself, IF, and I say IF I had had the relationship with my first wife that I have with the second there NEVER would have been any affairs. None. Zippo, Notta.....There are 2 sides to every relationship. And BOTH people have the responsibility to give respect to the partner and LISTEN to what is REALLY at issue, not projecting imaginary fears onto them and expecting ESP answers.
I agree, I am one of the "lucky ones" to come out on the other side of 17 years of affairs with someone who has the ability to work with my shortsomings as well as my strengths. I didn't start out my first marriage looking for a way out of it. And I'm not at all pleased with the choices I made to seek relief as a fence-sitter in order to be "safe" with the pains and failures of my first marriage. AS you've read my posts, you can see I advocate ending the affair AND facing the troubled marriage on your own, getting single first, if necessary, BEFORE initiating another relationship. Solve the issues that you used to justify the affair.
Or face repeat performances ad nauseum as I did for many years.
It's not about "getting the OW/OM". It's about living a healthy emotional life with a partner who is as interested in healthy relationships as you are. Two way communication, self-respect, honesty and kindness. Isn't that really what you want to receive and give? Every single one of us has our own set of quirks. Yet we still have the right to be respected and loved by someone who accepts us as we are, builds us up when we need it and believes in us when it counts.
Affairs are lose-lose relationships. And there are men out there who prey on women. It stinks.
As to your application to be a cl-, nothing has come across my emails. A follow-up inquiry to CM-Julie or CM-Angela is always an option for you to send so you have an answer.
cl-nre
Well, dang, I guess I should give credit where credit is due! You've got guts Mr. Cl_Noregrets,
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