naive vs. reality
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naive vs. reality
| Wed, 12-29-2004 - 10:19am |
hi,
i posed this question earlier in the week, on another msg bd and figured i'd ask you guys,
for those of you whose husbands/wives/so's have cheated and chose to stay with the ow/om, did they ever tell you why they chose him/her?
and if so, did they choose them b/c the om/ow made it too comfortable for them? in other words, will closing your eyes bring back your wife/husband/s/o?

I don't think men WANT to leave their wives, no matter how bad it is. Because as my XMM said to me once, "Better the devil you know." Everything is already set for them. They have the house, job, children -- if they get a divorce, they lose A LOT (I know -- I work in the court system). So if they can 'stray and play' once in a while with no problems at home, they'll stay in the marriage. The PROBLEM with that for me is (1) it's a sham of a marriage -- I wouldn't mind one indiscretion or two, if they weren't blatant and it wasn't repetitive -- but more than two? He's out the door. -- and (2) there are diseases out there that don't show up for a long time. As a friend of mine said, "I'd stay married to m DH (if he had an affair). I just would never sleep with him again."
The reality is: (1) if he's repeatedly cheating or in a LONG-TERM affair and/or (2) you can make it on your own with the children (and every wife should have her life set up so she can make it alone, in case she is ever single again) -- kick him to the curb and start over again. Men don't have to be perfect -- they just have to be committed. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than have to 'settle' for so little from a man. And that's exactly what I'm prepared to do. There is more to life than just sexual relationships with men. A lot more. We've just forgotten that.
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