Affairs

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2004
Affairs
2
Thu, 12-30-2004 - 7:33am

Do you realize that we're (most of us) are 'grieving' just as readily as though someone close to us died recently?

Does anyone know anything about Kubler-Ross' "Seven Stages of Grief?"

Rather than blaming the man, is anyone reading up on why she had an affair? Because it's easy to blame him and belittle him -- but no one held a gun to our head.

Anyone in therapy?

Anyone have any religion? (Not the kind that says you're going to H for having an affair, but one that is focused on how much God (however you define God) loves us?)

Anyone like to garden?

Who's in school or back in school?

Anyone do Yoga?

Anyone have a daily exercise routine?

Anyone meditate everyday?

Who doesn't go to church but has a deep spirituality?

Anyone do any volunteer work?

Does anyone realize that we've lost almost 1400 military personnel in the war (NOT counting the ones who were wounded and then died later), and that some of their families spent their second Christmas without their father/husband/son/mother/wife/daughter and that a lot of families spent their first Christmas without them? Kinda puts things in perspective, yes? Not to mention what is going on in Southeast Asia.

Feel free to disagree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
In reply to: bellaterra66
Thu, 12-30-2004 - 9:08am

I have been out of my EMA for a long while now, so I may not be the one you were trying to reach with your post, but you touched on many interesting things. My affair was not just an event in my life, but a characteristic of my life as well, meaning that there are so many issues with myself and my marriage that brought me to the affair. I have been in therapy since my affair and I do recommend it...lol....It really does cleanse the mind!!

H and I are going to start going to church with our daughter in the new year. I have always been a spiritual person and my affair had not only taken everything out of me, but it sucked my spirit dry too!! The new year is a great time to get back to business and living again!!

I went back to school in September after getting my associates degree last year. I finally managed to pick a major and have been through 3 classes and have managed to raise my GPA to a 3.8....!!!

You mentioned all the tragedy going on in the world. There are so many things that are so much bigger than us isn't there? I know it doesn't feel like it when you are hurting, but wow is there a lot of sadness in the world...for so many people. I have cried tears seeing the devastation of the war and all of the men and women who will never come home to their loved ones. And the devastation in Asia and Africa....those images of parents crying for their lost children....and everyone suffering loss and heartache....really makes you put perspective on things!!

Thanks for an awakening post!!

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2004
In reply to: bellaterra66
Thu, 12-30-2004 - 9:31am

Thank YOU for your supportive posts. Makes me feel good (of course). :-)

Wow, this is what I mean -- our A can be springboard for renewing and/or changing our life. Not EVERYTHING about the A was bad -- especially when the outcome is good for us.

Congratulations on your AA Degree! I finally got mine. FINALLY. (It only took me 35 years! LLLLLLLOOOOOOLLLLLL). Now I'm back getting my certification in Microsoft Office. When I retire next year, I start our University, as a Junior. I am majoring in Comparative Religions. Going to do a MA in Pastoral Care. THEN -- LOL -- I'd like to do a (required) 2-year Internship at The Mayo Clinic (in Rochester, MN). THEN -- I MIGHT be a hospital chaplain! LOL I love 'working with' the sick and dying. (No, I'm quite normal. My 'heart' is in the sick and dying, so I might as well work in the field.) What is your major??

Yes, I just noticed that the death toll is now over 115,000 -- and will go higher. But the dead are dead and in a better place. It's all those orphan children, and adults who lost all of their family. It's mind-boggling. And we're really so helpless.

It's starting to dawn here. The rain has made our skies absolutely gorgeous. We've had rain for two out of the past three weeks AND it's supposed to rain all next week -- so that will be three weeks out of four. We're not used to it here -- but it certainly has been beautiful. I love the way the air smells and feels -- and everything is so clean and green.

Gotta leave for work. Everyone have a good day as possible!