Starting Over..Day 3 NC
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Starting Over..Day 3 NC
| Mon, 03-08-2010 - 10:34am |
Ok..so I have come here for my dose of tough love..hopefully not too harsh.
I broke NC last week as XAP wanted to apologize to me for what he did. He was contacting other women while he was in an A with me. I was not the only one he was having an A with. When I found out, I was angry and in shock. Then he started emailing and the emotional letters started coming.
Last week I met him ( I know bad, bad decision)..but I did..I own it.

Thank you for your post..I so needed it right now. I did just get
It is VERY hard when you realize you are not the only one. I mean lets be honest. We enter into the A because we want to feel special and needed. Just remember as insecure as you feel right now....it is HIS insecurities that drive him to text you and as much as you NEED him to text you for that reassurance...he NEEDS you to respond to his text for his ego stroke. So when you feel the need to text him back...ask yourself....do I really want him to know how truly needy and vulnerable I am and do I really want to stroke his ego and let him be in control again? Trust me its hard and I am right there with you. But, honestly when I ask myself those questions, it makes it much easier to not text back because I am determined to prove to him I am a strong confident woman that does not need his crap!
Good luck and stay strong :)
Thank you CAT! Wow..your questions really hit the nail on head, so true. He does not "need" me, he "needs" the ego stroke.
I am sorry about your situation also, really sorry. I thought I was alone as far as being in an A that he was cheating on me! I know sounds so ironic, but that's how it was. (sigh)
Thank you for your advice and support. I definitely will keep reading your responses and the others for reinforcement in case I have a weak moment. Just to kick my own arse...
RG
CAT,
<<....it is HIS insecurities that drive him to text you and as much as you NEED him to text you for that reassurance...he NEEDS you to respond to his text for his ego stroke.>>
Ba Da
~Iddy~
Thanks Iddy!! That which doesnt kill us only makes us stronger! I have to say I have learned what I think the hard way. But, in the end it has made me much stronger. I keep my focus on the fact that as much as I want revenge...the best revenge I can give him is NC!! I know from the past it kills him. They want to perceive us as needy vulnerable women and I will not give him that satisfaction!