I told my husband.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
I told my husband.
6
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 6:37pm

I told him because I was afraid he would find out anyway. I don't regret it. I should have told him a long time ago. I am numb right now. He wanted to know everything. He had many questions. I answered them all honestly, but he still doesn't know if he believes me. He said he needed time to think. He didn't want to talk to me. He isn't here. He is on a business trip. I took the easy way out. I told him when I didn't have to face him. He was crying. I hurt him so bad. I can't even form a coherent sentence. Sorry this is so all over the place, I just can't think right now. He won't take my calls. He works so hard to support our family and I was f*cking around on him. I don't know where this will lead. I told him about an hour ago. I just want him to tell me that we can work through this. That everything is going to be okay. So selfish. I just ripped his heart out and I am worried about me. I feel so pathetic. I just want to dig a hole and go to sleep in it. What do I do now? I am devastated and I can't even begin to imagine how he is feeling. I don't know if he can forgive me. I can't even forgive myself. Hurting so bad. I feel like I can't breath. What have I done.....

He is so angry. I asked him if we would be able to work it out and he said "I don't know. You can't control everything (my name), welcome to reality". He told me it was the most evil thing anyone has ever done. Make plans to f*ck this guy while telling him that I love him. He said that last 10 months have all be tainted. He is going to leave me. I know it. I'm so scared.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2010
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 7:07pm
I can't offer any advice, but wanted to send you some hugs! Hopefully your husband will calm down and want to talk soon. He needs time and space...his world as he knows it has been broken.
Hang in there and know that you are not alone...((((((HUGS))))))
~ Loopy ~
~ Loopy ~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 7:56pm

Oh hun,


I know that pain well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2009
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 12:53am
Oh boy.... You told him when he was away from home, working...... This means he has no support system there, he has to keep it all inside till he is on his way home. He will be twice as mad because of this. Some people harm themselves because of this kind of stress away from home. Him not taking your calls is not a good sign. Do you think he knew something was up or did you blind side him? Keep trying to contact him, in the back of his mind it will show him
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2006
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 2:28am

As simple as it sounds, you must remain calm and caring, and don't fuel the fire!

Breathe breathe breathe!

Hugs,
Mish

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 8:30am

It's so hard not to think of ourselves after being so selfish for so long in our A's, but put yourself in his shoes. If you just found out that the person you love most, the person who is supposed to protect you, the person who you share a life with, has been lying to you for almost a year, you'd be devastated. He's devastated and probably needs a moment to calm down. Let him experience these emotions- be there to support him- answer his questions when and if he wants to hear them. I know this is hard. The waiting, the not knowing what he's thinking or feeling. Well, he's hurt and he has to deal with that.

Everyone is different, so I am not going to try to predict the outcome of your situation, just know that my H and I had 3 DDays over the course of a year. He should have left me after the first one- he was so mad. But, I am the love of his life, and even with my indiscretions, he loves me with all of his heart and has forgiven me. If your H is truly your soulmate (if you believe in that), then you will work it out... and when you come out together on the other side, you will be stronger than you ever knew possible. If he loves you in spite of yourself, then you've reached a level of intimacy that you have never known before.

Hang in there. He will come around. You will have a chance to talk to him.

Jane

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 03-09-2010 - 12:16pm

Hi CLM,


Sorry to read about your D-day. I’ve had one and they are painful. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.