Weak Guy-- Coincidence and question
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Weak Guy-- Coincidence and question
| Tue, 03-09-2010 - 1:01pm |
I think im one of the only men on this board.
| Tue, 03-09-2010 - 1:01pm |
I think im one of the only men on this board.
Hi Jimmy,
I also read your other posts also. My advice is the same regardless of gender. Before this can end, you have to WANT to end this. We could give you the most solid and grounded advice in the world but you have to have resolve to end this otherwise it just does not work!
You have a lot of decisions to make. Whether you want to stay in a M with no intimacy and if you want to end your A. You cannot focus on your M nor can your xAP (I use that term loosely because it seems she is really still your AP) focus on hers until you both let go of this R which is not going anywhere. Affairs are a dead end road. They cause destruction to all involved and even those that didn’t deserve to be hurt by our selfish actions.
It’s not about having animosity towards xAP. It’s about loving you enough to know an A solves nothing and like drugs only creates more problems. Like a drug addict, it is easier to deal with problems our addiction causes than to deal with the core issues in our life. We navigated ourselves into the predicaments in our life. It is up to each individual to navigate out. IC is a good place to get some help and direction.
You mentioned counseling in one of your threads. However, it seemed that was MC. Are you in IC? Seems you are stuck in limbo not only in our A but in your M. How long do you want to live your life like this? Do you want to wait around for others to make decisions about your life or do you want to be an active participant? You absolutely can but it is up to you Jimmy.
We have our collective hand out to help but you must get up and walk off the A rollercoaster and to grab it. You are in control of your actions and the can be in control of the course of your life. What do you say Jimmy?
Big hugs,
E1
Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are probably right.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.