Overwhelming sadness :(
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| Tue, 03-09-2010 - 2:04pm |
I am just so unhappy today :(
I am in NC/LC and I ran into him this morning. We did'nt say anything to each other but I saw him with another co worker (a female) and I am just so sad since then. We used to have coffee together every morning. Wondering if that is the trigger as I saw him during that time? Also, I have come to grips with a lot of things - but it still stings to see him being friends with somebody else. This is very silly (probably bordering on co dependency). We were in an EA ( absolutely zero PA). So, why does it matter who he is being friends with? AND this co worker was also there when we were close.
I was thinking this overwhelming sadness is a thing of the past by now - I am almost three months out of the A. Don't know why I am feeling so depressed today - can't even concentrate on work.
Thanks for listening to me ramble.

Hi Gal-
I feel your pain. We are in the same boat as far as our A's go- mine was an EA too- with only two kisses shared between me and xap- yet my connection to him was strong. I am 40 days NC/LC today and it is hard. (Although not as hard as it was inside the A at the end). Today has been filled with triggers for me too- and it has affected me. I hate that it can affect me. I put so many self protection techniques in place, but it's impossible to block out all of the triggers.
Unfortunately, I don't have any words of wisdom for you. You've made it farther than I have, which means you know that it passes- that you will get through this- and that it's ok to feel that way as long as you don't act.
Keep your head up. Tomorrow is another day.
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Hi GTT,
Part of the fantasy we build up in our minds is that we were so very important, meant something and really mattered to xAP. When we see them moving on with their lives and maintaining other friendships, it hits us in the face (literally) that maybe we were not as special or important as we thought we were.
It was never xAP’s place or job to make us feel important. We are important regardless of what xAP does or does not do in his/her life.
What makes you feel good about yourself? Since you cannot concentrate on work anyway, make a list of the things in life you do that make you feel good, productive and special. What qualities do you posses that are special and maybe even unique? What have people said they like about you?
It’s time to look for healthy ways to feel validated.
Much love and big hugs,
E1
Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are probably right.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Gal_tintin,
Having a rough one is tough...tomorrow will come n I hope yours is a better tomorrow, E1's suggestions are grand...one additional/related suggestion-journal. When I was starting out I journaled a lot. It was such a good way to talk to me..to him, to whomever, I vented..something about writing just was healing...Hope you have a safe place where you can have one and it can be yours and only yours. For your eyes only.
I say this because every now and then, if I have a pang of sadness or some delusion that I miss MM or the like, I either immediately come to EAS and/or journal. I also go back and monitor my progress, and I remind myself of how bad I was hurting and how much horrible things I endured, but I also allowed myself to endure...its like saying to myself "look how far you came" and it's also saying on one of those sad days..."what are/were you really even missin? And the answer is always Nada! Just my 2cents...
Do not know much about your specific situation but I hope this helps...keep your chin up as much as you can
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida