Concerned about our coping ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Concerned about our coping ...
8
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 5:35pm

Hello All,

As I head out for yet another run this week, I got to wondering, how is it that other posters are coping? I guess I am concerned. I am concerned that we all turned to an A for various reasons, but that maybe at a fundamental level we have/had issues with coping and therefore escaping via the A became our coping.

So now that the A is over, how are we all coping? Not usually a substance user, I notice that I take sleep aids now and am probably exercising too much compared to my caloric intake. So, any others out there concerned about their coping/not coping? How have your coping mechanisms shifted over time?

I am wondering ...

j.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:17pm
My coping tool was a "screw you" attitude for months. I used that to get past that anger phase. (still have some)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:36pm
This is a great question. I certainly know I have an addictive personality type, so I am being very careful to not consume too much alcohol or smoke to many cigs. I am coping by pouring my energy into my M. I am addicted to finding ways to make my H happy.
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 6:56pm

Male perspective here-


I'm really struggling everyday with missing my AP


I go to gym and lift weights everyday


used to be 2 to 3 times a week


good news is I am in good shape


bad news is that i know its a coping mechanism and obsessive


it does temporarily give me a "high" and make me physically feel good/sexy


perhaps its a replacment for AP as well


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2006
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 3:46am

I've learned to cope by planning my days ahead, so that I don't have idle time to think much about xap. Well, actually, if I do think about him, it's more indifference than anything, which bores me! I don't like to be bored and like to feel at the end of the day that I've done something constructive or helpful, so planning ahead and knowing my weak times of the day, takes me away from getting down or beating myself up too much. Sure I still do that, but now it's rare and again, bores me, and probably what got me in trouble in the first place. :)

Mish

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 9:36am

I have coped by burying myself with work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 9:50am

Jodi-
good post!

I crawled on my belly for the first few months. I drank too much, slept too much, starting taking Paxil and sleeping pills. I guess you can call this "coping" but it's not as if I was winning any awards for it! I journaled constantly and lived on this board, too. That is one thing I was doing right.

Now, four months out, don't drink as much - don't use the sleeping pills anymore - don't snap at everyone and about everything - and I've begun to be more social by entertaining in my home every weekend. This might not seem like much, but it is huge for me. I am redirecting my energy into positive outlets. I am generally more happy. My next step is to start working out regularly again. I used to be ripped, now I'm pudged! ha.

I think it's interesting to note how many of us have addictive personalities and obsessive tendencies. I wonder if A-havers are more inclined to that behavior than the general population.

x,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 10:32am

Excellent question, Dee.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2009
Fri, 03-12-2010 - 3:14pm

Addictive