I'm a faker

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
I'm a faker
5
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 6:19pm

OMG. I am hurting so much right now. 2 weeks. I always try to be so strong. I am such a faker. I've been thinking about xap all day. Why, after I resisted all kinds of temptation last night??


Right now

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
In reply to: alwayst
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 6:29pm

((Hugs))
I am at 3 weeks and today is one of the worst as well. Can't eat, can't sleep and can barely hold back tears. X is going out of town tomorrow...I presume with his wife, and I am here alone and miserable while he's having all the fun in the world.

Hang in there. Tomorrow is another day.

XOXO
Gone

**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
In reply to: alwayst
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 8:58pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
In reply to: alwayst
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 11:19pm

Always,

I am sorry you are having a tough time...while i am on time, you are 3 weeks NC...wounds are still fresh momma, time is not yet on your side. Be proud of those 3 weeks tho, I know they are gut wrenching. I do not know your story...but it has not been that long that I was much like you. I am a new tweener and it has been a tough road. Still on the same one way road myself. I call it a one way road because I can not fathom going back to that other person/life I was living before. Give it a little more time...if you continue NC, I promise, it does get better.
Do try to get out when you are ready, hope you can work things out with your H. Figure out what works for you to get you busy and not thinking about him all day. Sometimes you just have to allow so much time per day and when you find yourself wondering...refocus, shake it off, watch a movie, read, journal online...work out, whatever you do that is good and healthy for you. Its "you" time. I really hope tomorrow is better for you. know that you are in my thoughts...chin up

Hugs to ya

Luvin




Edited 3/12/2010 7:40 am ET by luvinmeforever10
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2010
In reply to: alwayst
Fri, 03-12-2010 - 8:47am

((Alwayst))


I just read your post, I hope you had a nice dinner even though you are hurting.


I am not as far as NC as you are, but I have no doubt the pain is still very raw. But you are doing so good, I know that probably sounds so simple. But it is very hard for us all to maintain NC because it hurts so much...but it is protecting you from further pain.


I think you need to feel what you need to feel, let it out. I know it is hard to act like everything is ok with your H..boy do I.


Sending you a ((hug)).


RG


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
In reply to: alwayst
Fri, 03-12-2010 - 11:53am
Thanks to all of you for the hugs. My emotions snuck up on me yesterday. I'm much better today. Had a good time with friends last night. And yes, today is another day. :)