How I'm doing! I'm a TWEENER!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
How I'm doing! I'm a TWEENER!
8
Sat, 03-13-2010 - 9:14pm

Sorry, I'm late with this... I posted this as a reply to a thread below but decided I wanted to make this a separate topic for those interested in how I'm doing...

The other poster asked:
"but finding the right point is really hard, how did you girls do this?"....

Simple, his wife found out and that was it.

For me, it was a 'wake up' call speaking to her because it made the whole affair so dirty and nasty. I met with her at her house - correction: in their home. The home he would 'sneak' me in, now I am being 'invited' inside by 'her'. It was real strange for me.

To see their home, their lifestyle, their life together... it just left a sour taste in my mouth. Like, how could I do this to another woman? I could be her and him sneaking behind my back (which I'm sure he was doing anyway).

Regardless, I decided to end the affair because for one - I saw the 'real him': the man with the family that lies and cheats. No way was I wanting that kind of life for myself. I am young, bright and have my whole future ahead of me... I'm not going to through it out for him. He's not worth it. Secondly, I saw how malicious, vindictive and revengeful he was in the end.

While at his house (he didn't know I was there because he was at work) he called her and she put him on speaker phone. She asked him questions like, "Did you ever care about this girl" and he would say, "no" and that it was just a piece of ass... he called me "it", not even a person. It really hurt but also opened my eyes to see that I made the right choice.

Even though he said all these things... he CONTINUED to call me for a month after he got busted. I'm illustrating to you the desperation in these MM that they are relentless in pursuing you..even after they got caught and could lose everything. They're spoiled, immature boys.

I ignored his calls. I blocked and walked. One time I answered and he said, "Hey its me" but all I said, in a calm voice, was, "Please do not call me again" and hung up on him. He continued to call but I just let it go to voicemail.

Then, because he knew it was over... he couldn't let it go he harassed me online. He threatened me. I just told him and her that if they continue I will get a restraining order. They stopped.

It's been three months now and I am doing great. I'm real lonely... an ex boyfriend came back into my life shortly, but now he too is gone (he freaked out again for apparently no reason??) Ironically, I miss 'this man' more than xMM because with 'this man' I knew I could have had a future with... losing xMM doesn't hurt so bad because deep down I knew there was no future and it all had to come to an end...

I hope that others' can see this but you can only see this after NC...

NC since Dec. 9th 2009


No Contact = No New Hurts


Silence is Golden; Silence is Dignified; Silence speaks volumes.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sat, 03-13-2010 - 9:36pm

ILA,


It's sounds like you've been on a steady learning curve and have aquired the skills to finally put XMM in the past where he belongs. You've come to many important realizations for which you should be proud of. I'm sorry the XBF didn't work out but I firmly believe things happen for a reason. It's time to look forward, not backward. The person for you is out there and you will find

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2008
Sun, 03-14-2010 - 9:38am

You're an inspiration to everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Sun, 03-14-2010 - 11:01am

LL-
Congratulations on your tweener wings!

xo
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sun, 03-14-2010 - 11:20am

ILA--


Congratulations to you!!! Your post was so touching. I hope you have an absolutely fabulous day!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sun, 03-14-2010 - 1:53pm

Thank you, thank you! =)


Something else I want to mention is that life is way too short to waste on the wrong person.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2010
Sun, 03-14-2010 - 2:06pm
Congratulations to you!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Sun, 03-14-2010 - 4:38pm

Lost,

Congrats momma!! You have come so far....happy for you and happy you are feeling better overall. We started together and nice to see us here now, looks like getting a cyper buddy with you along the way can make a difference...Congrats again and let us know how you are once in a while.

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Sun, 03-14-2010 - 9:49pm
Congratulations... I hope to be here one day!