Go back to lurking, pls. GRRRRR!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Go back to lurking, pls. GRRRRR!
45
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 12:52pm

Alrighty, Girls.
I'm off my meds, so brace up.

This is an ENDING board. Not an I'm-thinking-about-ending board.
You've been lurking for, um, _how_ long??? I've said this over and over....THERE IS NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN! What the heck are you doing while lurking; are you actually _reading_ the posts? Or are you just staring blankly at the gd monitor??? Go back one year, two years, three years.... over and over, the same stories, the same advice. Ok, so we all do it... we all get on this board and for the most part our first post is "how do I end this" cry, whine, confusion and despair abound! BUT, the second, third, fourth posts are NOT still "how do I end this?" and they are not supposed to be "I slipped, slipped, fell, slipped, and went back to the A." woe is me, why do I keep doing this..... and so on and so forth.

I am getting a little, ok, A LOT, irritated that lately I cannot come to my support board for uplifting and encouraging post. If y'all are not going to get on the stick and begin to get your shiz together, then go back to MAS or wherever. You girls KNOW what you have to do to be a part of this board, to begin to heal, to get your lives back on track --- SO DO IT! or, kindly, stop wasting everyone's time. This board has all the tools and support a person needs to end their A, but if this board is NOT helping you for some reason, why be on it?

I know I'm supposed to just ignore the posts that don't resonate with me -- I know I'm supposed to offer only loving encouragement --- Well, I'm stuck! I find only 1 out of 10 posts that resonate with me, and the only loving encouragement I can muster is to KICK SOME BUTT. If I had the patience of an angel on valium, like Iddy and the Vets, I'd probably keep my mouth shut. But, I've been here only four months and I've NEVER been good at filtering. I'm the loudmouth of the group; sorry if it offends, but I'm going to stand behind this rant because I think it's worth saying and my motivation is coming from the right place: I want healing for everyone on this board - I want the new-enders to get what they need to move forward.

sigh. I'm done.
Dee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 1:11pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 1:14pm

Sorry, Dee.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 1:23pm

~Stargirl~
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 1:26pm

Buddy,
Howzabout you end your A, instead? Don't you want to end it? Then do! and join us!!! This is a great board and I bet you'd really get a lot out of it and be able to contribute a lot, too.

Will you please consider being an ender? We'd hate to lose you.

Dee.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 1:38pm
my A is ended, Dee, just wish it was my doing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 2:02pm

Dee-

I love you. You certainly have said what has crossed my mind at times.

To All-
I come here to remain strong. It is hard to read about all of the missteps and transgressions, but I do understand them- but maybe Dee is right- there's another board for you- this is for enders. I didn't post on this board until 3 days after I ended it. I knew from lurking that this was an endings board and that I didn't belong here till I had ended it. We all know all of the reasons to end it- you can read story after story here and realize that all A's are the same- they all suck the life out of us. I read all of that and it pushed me to end it and I have not looked back.

I am 47 days NC today. I know that I am not out of the woods, but I really really want to be- and that's what it takes. You have to close all of the doors, windows, etc. There can't be anymore what if's in your mind. You have to be done. And if they were done first, ok then, you pick up the pieces, you read here and you earn back some of your dignity little by little by being silent. I didn't believe the "silence is heard, silence is dignified" quote until I tried it. I didn't believe in the power of NC until I tried it.

Ok, off my soap box now too. I have medicine head and my ears are all achy, but I wanted to weigh in :)

Jane
NC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 2:13pm

Dee-termind I do understand your frustration.


To borrow another wise posters words there is a “difference between actively being an addict but making reasons to continue the addiction and those that fall off the wagon but are determined to step back on, pick themselves up and dust themselves off - to heal, march on -even with trudging steps of misery at first- and continue NO CONTACT, healing, introspection and eventually happy indifference.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 2:15pm

My A ended and it wasn't really my doing, either. I mean, I ended it but only by default. He was going to end it, I just beat him to it. I say this because I want you to know that you belong here, then. As much as I do.
Welcome to the board!

All my love and support to you, fellow ender!
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2009
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 2:26pm

After rereading Dee's post and my response, I regretted jumping on the bandwagon against lurkers and newbies. I support everyone here. I just hate seeing so many of us hurting ourselves or repeatedly picking at our emotional scabs.

(hugs) and nothing but love.

Gal
NC since October 2, 2009.
 
"Once and for all, I'm far away.
I hardly believe, finally the shades... are raised."
Pearl Jam




Edited 3/19/2010 5:29 pm ET by gal_lookingforclosur
NC since October 2, 2009.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 2:27pm

I hesitated to say anything on this post..... I was one of those lurkers who finally posted...disappeared for a few months, came back and posted that I was ready to be an ender. I had my fair share of moaning, whining, and crying on this board, as well as my fair share of slip ups.

To all the lurkers and newbies- don't let Dee's post scare you off (besides, she's a big ole softy at heart). It's not meant to keep you from posting- just to remind us all what this board is really about. Just think carefully before you post, and if you are truly NOT done with your A, wait until you are before coming back.

To Dee and the vets- I apologize again for my slip ups and whiny posts on this board. I failed so many times, but y'all didn't give up on me. Thank you :) I celebrate day 14 NC today :) And Dee- thanks for trying to protect us fragile newbies, we need it sometimes! :)

Love,
Hazel

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