Feeling crappy once again...... :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2009
Feeling crappy once again...... :(
26
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 5:10pm

I am feeling frustrated, down and am struggling again. The A is OVER and has been for about 3 months now (we still small talk about stuff, give each other those looks, or at least he does me from time to time, there is still some flirting that takes place and I will be leaving here in a few months (we work together) which he knows and it was said my last week here we should/want to be together one last time I then said I can’t, just can’t). So the A is over but I feel myself regressing back and I don’t want to, I was doing so good, I was so strong, now all the emotions are crumbling down on me again.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 5:17pm
You might want to start by redefining what it means to be "doing so good". Flirting, continued unabated contact... um, really? Why do you bother to ask what it takes to overcome it? You're not practicing LC or NC, and I'm pretty darn sure you already know that the advice of this board is going to run 100% contrary to your current behavior... You're feeling crappy because you are volunteering for it. Easy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 5:20pm

Lifeis....

I'm sorry you are feeling crappy. I can't imagine working with exap and having to see him every day. That must be really hard.

But I think what you have to do is to put up a brick wall- and I mean a brick one- or maybe steel would work better..... SURROUND yourself with those walls and DO NOT let him in anymore. Not in your mind, not by flirting, talking or looking at him with anything other than professional.

Be a hard ass.

Love,
Hazel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2009
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 5:26pm

LIGA -


Thankfully, I don't work with xAP, so I don't know what it's like to have to go LC/NC while still having to see him every day.

NC since October 2, 2009.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 6:08pm

Life,


Gal offered you excellent advice!


<<

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 6:34pm

No wonder you feel crappy...you're still in affair! LC is LC...keeping it professional and that's it. Nothing personal allowed.
Good luck at you new job (wish I could leave - and I actually can - but I love my job and I won't leave just because x is there!)

XOXO
Gone

**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 6:50pm

I can only imagine that the thing that is worse than never seeing/talking to him again, would be to see and talk to him every day and having it be no big deal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 6:56pm

Those of you who actually have the opportunity to go full NC - you have no idea how incredibly lucky you are.
Imagine having to see them every damn day! And deal with constant fishing and having to keep your guard up at *all* times - because one little slip, and you're back in the same affair crap. BTDT, trust me, and it hurts like hell.

XOXO
Gone

**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 9:00pm

>>I just want to be free of this man once and for all. How in the heck does one overcome it?? <<

One day at a time.

Ive read what the other posters have said and I agree with some of them; but the truth be told, you can and will do this one day at a time. Then one day you will realize you are free of him.

hugs,
DM

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2009
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 1:00pm

Thank you so much for all your thoughts and advice.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2009
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 1:54pm

LIGA -


Just have a minute, but I wanted to offer you my encouragement.

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