More good insight to share

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
More good insight to share
13
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 3:16pm

I found this article and thought it might be helpful to many newbies (myself included):


http://studwithswag.com/2643/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-an-affair/


Looks like there are more good articles on this site, but I haven't had a chance to read through them all yet. Hope everyone is being kind to themself today. :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 4:26pm

Another great article!


Please

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 5:01pm

Thanks, E1. Although I am a newbie, it helps me to reach out to support others.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 5:38pm

I really enjoyed this one. Thanks for sharing alwayst!

DM

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 6:16pm

<

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 6:19pm

Just like you, we didn't have an offcial ending. I was fighting urges to text him today all day long. It's been almost 4 weeks of NC/LC, and I was the one who stopped answering his calls and texts.

But then I ask myself - what is it going to accomplish? What he may tell me that would make me feel better?

Ask yourself the same thing, alwayst. Maybe he is releived that it's over. Maybe he is secretly hoping you will never contact him again.
Let it go.

**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 8:40pm

Alwayst,


E1's post was spot on. Especially this part:


<

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 9:04pm

Wow, Iddy. I needed to hear that. I think that is what I've been struggling with too. I had feelings for xap, but he didn't have any for me.

I was his ego boost, nothing more. That really hurts.

I think what has helped me stay NC/LC is that it hit me: I spend SO much time thinking about him, the A, posting here on EAS etc.... Do you think he spends even one minute thinking about it? Heck no. I am pouring all this energy into getting over him, and I don't think he even had to blink to get over me!!!!! He just, went on.

The other day, he was online at the same time as I was. I did not contact him. But, I waited. I waited to see if he would say anything to me. anything at all. He didn't. That made it CRYSTAL CLEAR.

I mean nothing to him. And i gave so much of myself to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 7:33am

(((Hazelrose))


<>


It's not that they didn't have "any" feelings for us, HR, because Xmm has told me over the years out of the A that he still cares for me as a person and wants me to be happy, but he finally admitted that he was

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 8:32am

Hi Alwayst-

I relate to your need for closure, but back when I first started this NC journey, someone said to me that the A is like a train wreck. What's done is done and what will going back one more time to look at it or talk about it change? His silence does speak loudly. Yours does too. I tried so many times to have the "closure" talk with my xap, and it always made me feel worse. It always reopened the can of worms and all of the heartache that went along with it. I know that wondering sucks. I really do. I wonder all of the time- but ultimately, I know that this is best and so does he. End of story. One final conversation won't change any of that.

Jane
NC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 8:39am

hello Iddy,


Wow i had to say that i read your post and it made REAL sense to me.


When you read it to falls into place.......


thanks for such a great and honest post. It has made me look again at things.


Sunbeam

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