Finally Free
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Finally Free
| Wed, 03-17-2010 - 3:17pm |
Well, this has been a long time coming, and be forewarned it is also spiritual, so if you would be offended to read about what God has done in my life, please go no further.
I have struggled with an addiction for many many years. The addiction to always have some sort of on the side A going on. I have had affairs that were strictly physical, and I have had 2

Hi LAS,
Welcome to EAS.
I too am a Christian and one of the songs the helped me when I was ending my A was “Lord Have Mercy.” My pastor and his wife severed as both consoler and friend and helped both my H and I after D-day.
I believe God has helps more people get off drugs and alcohol then any sponsor out there.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Lonely (I read you changed from lonelyandsad to HAPPY and FREE) LOL.....
Thank you for your open and honest post. I too am a Christian. My H is also, and so is my exap. My A only lasted about 6 months, and I never have had a DDAY. I've been in NC for 15 days.
My H and I let ourselves slip away from our beliefs and our God. In the last few months, we have been going back to church, and renewing our relationship with God. The guilt and shame of the A absolutely killed me. How could I do this to my H, to God? To a God who loves me and gave everything for me and for my freedom?
I started a bible study called "Breaking Free- The Journey" by Beth Moore. It is fabulous, and has helped me in this journey. I loved reading your story, and it made me think of the Beth Moore study. She focuses on the book of Isaiah. One of the core verses is Galations 5:1 "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery"
I realized that my A was just that- slavery. God is so good, and He is helping through every moment of this.
Thank you for your wonderful post. It's nice to know someone else on this board is in a spiritual place like me.
Edited 3/21/2010 3:08 pm ET by confusedandtorn
Hi confused- I've read your posts on here before and kept up with your story. I am so sorry for the pain you are going through.... You sound like you and your H have had a rocky a marriage. Have you all gone to counseling to work out any issues that might have led you both to A's?
You said your h is giving you another chance....but you went to see your ap? Do you want another chance with your H? It sounds like you are skating on thin ice. If you really want to work on your marriage, you have got to stop the A and go completely NC with your ap. You will not be able to think clearly about your marriage while ap is around. I just want to encourage you to end this once and for all, and begin the healing process.
Is your H a christian? Do you guys go to church?
God is so good. My marriage was falling apart, then I had the A..... but God has brought my H and I through it and He has brought me to a closer relationship with Him (God) than i ever had before. My H has also begun working on his walk with God, and we are starting to live our lives the right way. It is a wonderful feeling.
Glory from the ashes.
Let me tell you, there's a reason God says not to commit adultery. It's not to keep us from having fun. It's not because he doesn't want us to enjoy life or He's a big party pooper. No. The reason God gives us those commands is because He loves us, and he knows that A's will only lead to devastation and destruction.
As a Christian, you are His child. You have the RIGHT to an abundant life that only He can give. it feels so good to be free and to be doing the right thing.
Love,
Hazel
Edited 3/21/2010 3:11 pm ET by confusedandtorn
God i love this post!!!!!
Hi everyone!
Wow......all I can say is that it is WONDERFUL to see all these posts from women who are Christians and are struggling. I do think that as a Christian it is hard to admit when we are in a battle, because already the label of "Christian" tends to lead others to automatically think that if we call ourselves that and sin, we are a Hyprocite. I posted my story because I felt like it was a confession. I did not post it to brag or lead you to think I am strong. I am NOT strong. I still struggle with this DAILY. I did not WANT to end my affair, and even as I was ending it, I was still clutching to it screaming NO DONT GO. What I want to make clear is this. The only thing that I have done is finally submit myself to God.....TOTALLY. HE is the one who has walked me through the things I needed to do to get away from this addiction. He is the one who put the words in my mouth and end the affair. To be honest, I was putting it off, and then in the middle of a conversation with my xAP, the words just came pouring out that I had to walk away because I needed to live for Christ. There have been times the ache for my xAP have been so strong I just want to send a text, but instead I pray until the urge diminishes. My point is, there is NO way I am doing this. All I am allowing is for God to work through me, and HE is doing the work through me.
I will tell you this. Do your best not to dwell on the situation. Ask for God's forgiveness and move on. I know it is hard, but for every minute we spend allowing ourselves to think about our mistake, we are allowing Satan to tell us that (A) we are unworthy of God's love because we screwed up so bad. of (B) How much we miss that relationship, and dont we just want to take a step back into it again?
The key.....PRAY PRAY PRAY......and PRAY again!
Feel free to email me.